Daterape_awareness Blog











I read these stories told by women who hide their faces to testify to what they endure across the planet: assault, rape mutilation, torture, murder, and worse atrocities and violence against women. http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/30/world/meast/isis-female-slaves/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

These assaults include messaging demeaning the very spirit of the female principle. The violence women and children are suffering at the hands of ISIS terrorist should be a battle cry for all armies of the world to rise up and exterminate terrorism and violence against against all peoples no matter their gender or the color of their skin or the their religion. If you’re not a part of the solution then you’re the problem. There is definitely evidence that ISIS terrorism is not defined by boundaries. A woman schooled in self-defense is better prepared to defend herself and her family. Be prepared. What I also find unacceptable is using the name of the Egyptian female goddess of rebirth and Mother of Life, ISIS’  [see: http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/egyptian_goddess_isis.htm], name to symbolize an aberrition of patriarchy.  People hear the name ISIS and associate it with the atrocities of violence.

We live in the twenty-first century yet cannot figure out how to live in peace and compassion with one another??? Or perhaps, there is something else at work. Perhaps, these atrocities and violence against women and children as war casualties is merely a reflection of free enterprise and globalist who pull the strings in the background financing wars and making mega billions selling arms to all the waring factions. They aren’t concerned with who wins or looses or who lives or dies. Its disgusting business, war.

Wake up…be hyper aware and care about yourself enough to arm yourself with self-defense.



{October 30, 2014}   Attention, men: stop the catcalls

Click below to take a walk through NY with a woman in plain black slacks and black crew t and walk around with a camera recording the harassment a woman  endures just out for a walk… catcalls to me are like a mating call…its an uninvited predatory act….as though a girl / woman is a piece of meat on display. I know the uneasy feel that goes off inside me when I hear them…alarm.  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/29/opinion/robbins-street-harassment/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

This is an example of our US culture of rape where no laws exist to protect woman from this (catcalls) form of aggressive predatorily harassment. Instead, it is common and consider by many men a male right of passage. There’s no dignity in it:



It saddens me to report the remains discovered a few miles from where the University of VA student, Hannah Graham, disappeared have been identified as belonging to Hannah Graham.  http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/10/24/hannah-graham-remains-found-in-virginia-police-confirm/

Take Self-defense classes. Women who fight their abductor have a stronger chance of survival.



FROM THE MOVIE SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE…

ZOE

No, come on, listen, here’s the rub
for women. Look at what we have
here with you and Erica. Harry,
you’ve been around the block a few
times, right? You’re what? Around
60, never been married, which, we
all know, if you were a woman,
would be a curse, you’d be an old
maid, a spinster, blah, blah,
blah… Okay, so instead of pitying
you, they write articles about you,
celebrate your never marrying, it
makes you illusive and ungettable.
You’re a real catch. Then, take my
gorgeous sister here…

ERICA

Any chance of you stopping here?

ZOE

Come on, this is interesting. I
mean, look at her, she’s so
accomplished, the most successful
woman playwright since who? Lillian
Hellman? She’s over fifty,
divorced and still sits in night
after night because the available
guys her age want
(to Marin)
20.

ZOE(cont’d)
–forgive me honey for saying this,
but they want girls that look like
Marin so the whole over fifty
dating scene is geared completely
towards men leaving older women out
and as a result that makes the
older women more and more
productive and more and more
interesting, which, in turn, makes
them even less desirable because as
we all know — men, especially
older men, are threatened and
deathly afraid of interesting and
accomplished women. It’s just so
clear. Single older women, as a
demographic, are as fucked a group
as can ever exist.

THIS DOUBLE STANDARD IS ENCODED IN OUR CULTURE, MEDIA, POLITICS…There is a distinctly sexist difference between the way we talk about women with…professional goals…and men who do exactly the same thing.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-lee/the-audacity-of-political_b_6056974.html

don’t take your cues from the media, or anyone else. Trust Yourself.



imprisoned on death row for five years prior to her hanging for killing her rapist…as long as one girl/woman among us must suffer these atrocities none of among us are free. http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/25/world/meast/iranian-woman-execution/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

TAKE SELF DEFENSE classes :) the chances of a predator succeeding diminish significantly when the victim fights back. escaping with your life is cautious courage.



I go to malls only a couple times a year, yesterday was one of those times. I went shopping for a man but didn’t find a lot of options and, in contrast was struck by the disproportional amount of merchandise offered in large department stores and boutiques cater to women or targets the female gender. It is completely disproportional, but then I realized the entire shopping experience by what is offered suggest that girls / women are incomplete and need to redefine their identity by all the merchandise defined by merchandiser as to what is the female experience.

One Targeted Group of Women are Boomers “…The number of wealthy women investors in the U.S. is growing at a faster rate than that of men. In a two-year period, the number of wealthy women in the U.S. grew 68%, while the number of men grew only 36%. – The Spectrem Group http://she-conomy.com/facts-on-women

How about this statistic:  Women account for 85% of all consumer purchases including everything from autos to health care: http://she-conomy.com/facts-on-women

• Over the next decade, women will control two thirds of consumer wealth in the United States…http://she-conomy.com/facts-on-women

But women are not the only target watch this video make by a for-profit t-shirt company called FCKH8.com…little girls are dressed in princess costumes using F### to talk about RAPE, ASSAULT, and EQUAL PAY….crosses the line… isn’t it a crime to exploit children??? Putting grown up words in children’s mouths to deliver a message is exploitation… (http://rebeccahains.com/2014/10/22/fckh8s-f-bomb-princess-video-isnt-offensive-its-exploitative/) …capitalizing on the shock effect the little girls generate just to SELL T-Shirts is disgusting…but nothing is sacred to marketeers…even using little children or the concept of feminism…they’re merely a means to an end??? i.e., corporate profits…

More disturbing is Society finds little girls saying the F word more offensive than the number of little girls and, their counterpart, women, reported every day who have been drugged, assaulted, exploited, raped, mutilated, murdered, and more. The video was reported pulled from YouTube…http://allenbwest.com/2014/10/shock-video-little-girls-drop-f-bombs-feminism/

“…this censorship gets to the exact point that the girls in the video are making… that society finds it more offensive for a girl to say f!@k than they do the fact that 1 out 5 women are sexually assaulted and raped and that women get paid 23% less than men for the exact same work. :  http://allenbwest.com/2014/10/shock-video-little-girls-drop-f-bombs-feminism/ Who is responsible for making this video and what does it say when we have to have children deliver a message on feminism?



…there are biological differences between women and men but the differences we perceive between actual males and females are not given by nature but created by the social contexthttp://www.psykologtidsskriftet.no/index.php?seks_id=52301&a=4

…All societies have rules and customs governing the orderly transferral of power, wealth and privileges from one generation to the next, i.e. primarily from one group of men to a related group of men in the next generation.

But men do not have the children. Men may be the fathers of the next generation of rulers, but men do not give birth to other men. This is the weak link of patriarchy. Men are, in spite of universally being of the ruling gender, dependent on women to have heirs; And women can be certain about who is their child and who is not, but men cannot be certain about who is the father of the children of their spouse.

Men are thus dependent on women and their fecundity – thus sexuality becomes not only an issue for the spouses in the individual partnership but becomes also an issue of great significance for society at large. The fecundity of women, and ultimately the sexuality of women hence has to be controlled since this really is the weak spot of patriarchy…

[desexualizing women in western civilization compared with Sweden]…Many societies have attempted to de-sexualise women. Good women are not sexual beings. They may, nay they shall, give their husbands their marital rights, i.e. sex, but their true vocation is not that of a harlot but of a mother. Motherhood is the fulfilment of womanhood. Thus female sexuality is controlled and the threat to male supremacy avoided in most Western, Christian cultures. Of course there are other women, women who are sexual, but they are seen as aberrations and not worthy the respect given the Mother Woman. Thus also is bred an attitude that facilitates prostitution and trafficking since the sexual woman is not a true woman and hardly human.  http://www.psykologtidsskriftet.no/index.php?seks_id=52301&a=4

Our culture tends to value males above females. While the culture is rapidly changing in the ways men are favored over women, especially in the developed world, there is still widespread physical abuse of women by men in some settings and very few places in which men and women have equal power. This attribution of rights and responsibilities based on sex is known as sexism. http://www.creativeconflictresolution.org/jc/maps-1/systems-of-oppression.html

the role that categories of social difference play in the political and economic systems…http://sfonline.barnard.edu/sexecon/tadiar_05.htm

how gender, race, and sexuality matter to the economy and vice versa…Systemic forms of social and bodily violence, and psychic and emotional violation, are intrinsic to modern structures of capitalist accumulation, and it is by looking at the social groups and identities of those who disproportionately bear these violent consequences—the bodily bearers of systemic crisis—that one can begin to understand the role that categories of social difference play in the political and economic systems themselves….http://sfonline.barnard.edu/sexecon/tadiar_05.htm

…Indeed, housework, sex work, affective work, and care work are now profitable global industries…social differences regulated by categories of gender, race, sexuality, culture, and nationality are essential to the process of capitalist accumulation to the extent that they serve as technologies of devaluation, necessary to the expropriation of people’s creative powers.  http://sfonline.barnard.edu/sexecon/tadiar_05.htm



The objectification of women…

The Systemic Proliferation of Misogynist Ideals is proliferated by and through the media…they have an agenda…

The objectification of women not only induces states of shame and fear in women; it also promotes the treatment of them as inhuman playthings. The sexual exploitation of women is especially predominant in advertising, which is impossible toescape because ads are omnipresent. Thin, barely clothed bodies appear in magazines and on the backs of buses. Intimate close-up shots of smoky bedroom eyes belonging to a woman wearing only lace negligee stare down at passerby from high billboards. Pelvic shots and chiseled bodies come through the television and the computer. They are in every clothing store and adorn the pages of weekly sales circulars.

The mechanism used in these ads is quite simple: Attractive bodies are employed to grab attention and simulate desire, which advertisers hope will then be transferred to the product. Buy the beer, get the girl. In this way, women‟s bodies are equated with commodities, presented as rewards of consumption. By instructing men to regard women‟s bodies as objects, ads help create an atmosphere that devalues women as people, encourages sexual harassment, and worse (Jacobson and Mazur 1995:84).

Often times the women portrayed in these ads are not even whole. The pictures show only legs, torsos, or an open mouth with rouge lip color provocatively placed atop a glass bottle. This reduces women to collections of parts, something less than human. This objectification and sexploitation has changed the rules of society and along with it the attitudes of men and women have changed.   http://newyorksociologist.org/11/Berberick2011.pdf

Given the barrage of images representing women as pieces of a body (mainly breasts, butts, and legs) instead of as a person, it is no surprise [women are assaulted, abducted, raped, mutilated, murdered]]  …

Therefore, if women are observing images thrust at them through mass communication as a guideline of how to act, they will begin to act in that manner because it mirrors their environment. If men are constantly viewing women as objects that must be possessed, or prizes to be won, they will begin treating them as so.   http://newyorksociologist.org/11/Berberick2011.pdf

One must ask then, who controls the media…ANSWER:  6 JEWISH COMPANIES control 96% of the world’s media http://theunjustmedia.com/Media/Six%20Jewish%20Companies%20Control%2096%25%20of%20the%20World’s%20Media.htm   A more recent source indicates…There aren’t numerous US mass media news sources at all; there are just five. Five giant corporations control 90 percent of US mass media …  http://rt.com/op-edge/158920-us-ukraine-media-control/

These five conglomerates are Time Warner, Disney, Murdochs’ News Corporation, Bertelsmann of Germany, and Viacom (formerly CBS). Their control spans most of the newspapers, magazines, books, radio and TV stations, movie studios, and much of the web news content of the United States…  … the conglomerates themselves are giant corporations. They are among the largest companies in the world. They contribute to both of America’s big parties, the Republicans and Democrats, while supporting their policies. US media companies have also received from the Reagan, Clinton, and Bush administrations progressively greater media deregulation, which permitted ever greater media ownership concentration, culminating for the first time in allowing all the media in a community or city to be owned by one company.

The Council’s members’ activities helped to promote the Iraq war, the bombings of Serbia and Libya, and the recent overthrow of the elected government of the Ukraine. The promotion of these policies by the media conglomerates which belong to the Council has been key to preparing the American public to accept these policies.

The media conglomerates’ fellow members of the Council on Foreign relations include a large number of large corporations, powerful CEO’s, and present and former government officials. One prominent member is former US National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski, whose doctrine calling for US control of the Eurasian landmass, which includes Russia and China, is one of the guiding elements in US foreign policy.

The power of lies, deceptions and disinformation as Americans pay the price of collective stupidity.

“You know very well, and the stupid Americans know equally well, that we control their government, irrespective of who sits in the White House. You see, I know it and you know it that no American president can be in a position to challenge us even if we do the unthinkable. What can they (Americans) do to us? We control congress, we control the media, we control show biz, and we control everything in America. In America you can criticize God, but you can’t criticize Israel…” Israeli spokeswoman, Tzipora Menache

Misogynist and the war on women…

Incidents of rape and violence…demonstrate a spectrum. Women aren’t killed in a bubble. They’re killed in a world that disenfranchises them, positions them as other, and disadvantages them. They’re killed in a society that sends the message, clearly and repeatedly, that they are sexual objects for men’s gratification and possession. The cultural elements that help to create these messages aren’t the cause of violence against women, but they are the context in which it happens. They help perpetrators to see women as objects. They frame violence against women as titillating, funny or excusable. They help us to blame victims when they come forward. They hamper justice. http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/sep/12/women-being-assaulted-abused-murdered-misogny

Wake up, in the big picture the controlled mass messaging in America objectifies women and  excuses violence against women.



Oscar Pistorius Penalty Phase and prison may not be able to accommodate his medical needs concerning his disability and prison are crowded in South Africa…  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/13/world/africa/south-africa-pistorius-sentencing/index.html?hpt=hp_t2  Judge Thokozile Masipa, is amazing to have found Pistorius mistaken his wife in their bathroom in the middle of the night for an intruder. In fact, her finding is exactly what Pistorius claimed throughout the trial. Yet, we may never know what was Pistorius intent when he fired the weapon 4 times into the bathroom door. The first bullet killed her.    Two things predators wait for: Vulnerability & Opportunity, then they strike.

Community Service? Makes me feel sick to my stomach the concept of community service for murder. But, perhaps the UN could designate an island, or make a deal with the Russians and send those who penetrate violence against woman and children to Siberian work camps. What do you think?



Weigh in,..

Do you think girls dress in a way that invites trouble? http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

Imagine this scenario: A young man is talking with his father about sexual assault. How might that conversation go in a world where you believed girls could provoke boys into attacking them simply by being scantily dressed?
Son: “Dad, you were right. I couldn’t control myself. She looked so…sexy. I knew she wanted it.”

Father: “It’s okay, son. It’s evolution. Men have been tempted since caveman days. She should have covered up. How short was her skirt?”

I’m praying most fathers would never dream of raising a son this way.
I accept the fact that men are visual. Mike Matthews puts it like this in an article on catholiceducation.org “….The fact is, it doesn’t take much visual stimulus at all for guys to become sexually aroused. The sight of the female body, even just a little bit and even if it’s a complete stranger, can trigger sexual thoughts instantly. This might be difficult for women to understand, but it’s absolutely true…”   http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

Linda Fairstein, who prosecuted sex crimes for 30 years in New York City says, “Sexual assault is the only crime in the book, literally, where the offender repeatedly blames the victim. I’ve … had men who attacked 5-year-old girls who’ve said, ‘she climbed on my lap and she was very sexy and I thought she was inviting me to touch her.'”  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 1 in 4 rapes take place in the victim’s home. Two in 10 rapes take place at the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. And almost two-thirds of all rapes are committed by someone the victim already knows. Don’t think a short skirt provoked these men to rape.  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

My daughter was 22 when she died at her boyfriend’s music studio after someone spiked her drink with GHB. She had gone to the studio alone and after hours by late night invitation of the boyfriend/rapper. She told her roommate she was going to get the boyfriend and return. She lit a candle and left. No one saw her alive again.

Her boyfriend drove my daughter to a hospital dead on arrival. She had been dead several hours before he took her to the hospital. He never called 911 when she fell to the floor after unknowingly ingesting GHB instead he decided to let her sleep it off. He claimed he didn’t know how she came in contact with GHB and he and the band suggested in their statements someone spiked her drink at the dance club before she arrived.

Only problem with their collaborative story is she walked 13 blocks from the club to the boyfriend’s studio, which is physically impossible given the amount of GHB still in her body post-mortum. The boyfriend/band also claim in their statements to police that my daughter had been at the studio approximately 40 to 50 minutes before she collapsed in seizures. We now know depending on stomach contents one can react to GHB in 10 to 15 minutes following ingestion, depending on the stomach content and, presence of alcohol. Her’s stomach was near empty; she’d had two glasses of wine over several hours. It’s clear from these two facts alone there existed reasonable cause for the D.A. to take the case, because the expert’s report challenged the boyfriend/band’s version of the facts. The investigating police officer didn’t believe the boyfriend’s/band’s story because the band manager was known the police said for drug dealing and possibly laundering money. The case went from the police directly to the homicide division.

But, today, my daughter”s case remains a cold case. The homicide detective did little to investigate the case and, in my opinion, was a fan of the rapper/ band. He ignored the GHB expert report who reviewed the records and concluded the GHB had to have been ingested at the studio. This one report written in April 2000 provided cause to prosecute because the boyfriend/band had all testified they were not the source of the drug but the expert, Dr. Debroah Zvosec’s report indicated otherwise. The homicide detective accepted the boyfriend and band’s statements which claimed my daughter came to their studio uninvited and drunk, and, often, showed up at parties uninvited and on drugs. THE DETECTIVE BLAMED THE VICTIM. He immediately made it clear he believed my daughter voluntarily took GHB and he tried to discredit my daughter. Yet, the medical personnel, police, friends of my daughter all testified, otherwise. They boyfriend/band lied according to the people who walked home from the club with my daughter and saw her minutes before she walked the final block alone to the studio. These witnesses were never questioned by the homicide detective. Less than 24 hrs. after the boyfriend/rapper took my daughter’s dead body to a hospital, he left town. When I tracked him down, he confessed, he and the band had been messed up for days on various drugs which he said caused him to make a bad judgment call in not calling 911 when my daughter collapsed and went into a coma. The boyfriend and his band have been free men and were never prosecuted for their crime of causing the death of a WOMAN/GIRL!  I hope to soon complete and post her for my readers, Shadow Dance, a fictionalized version of my daughter’s story. 

Our bodies are the garden of our soul. We should not have to defend ourselves against the onslaught of predators who act like friends who care and value our lives but in reality only seek two things: vulnerability and opportunity…then, they strike. Raise your awareness to include your sisters, who may be out alone and vulnerable, please befriend them and invite them to join your table, group or network of friends.  Remember, You are more likely to survive sexual assault if you fight back then if you submit. Please take up a Self-defense class in your neighborhood!



et cetera
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