Daterape_awareness Blog











I go to malls only a couple times a year, yesterday was one of those times. I went shopping for a man but didn’t find a lot of options and, in contrast was struck by the disproportional amount of merchandise offered in large department stores and boutiques cater to women or targets the female gender. It is completely disproportional, but then I realized the entire shopping experience by what is offered suggest that girls / women are incomplete and need to redefine their identity by all the merchandise defined by merchandiser as to what is the female experience.

One Targeted Group of Women are Boomers “…The number of wealthy women investors in the U.S. is growing at a faster rate than that of men. In a two-year period, the number of wealthy women in the U.S. grew 68%, while the number of men grew only 36%. – The Spectrem Group http://she-conomy.com/facts-on-women

How about this statistic:  Women account for 85% of all consumer purchases including everything from autos to health care: http://she-conomy.com/facts-on-women

• Over the next decade, women will control two thirds of consumer wealth in the United States…http://she-conomy.com/facts-on-women

But women are not the only target watch this video make by a for-profit t-shirt company called FCKH8.com…little girls are dressed in princess costumes using F### to talk about RAPE, ASSAULT, and EQUAL PAY….crosses the line… isn’t it a crime to exploit children??? Putting grown up words in children’s mouths to deliver a message is exploitation… (http://rebeccahains.com/2014/10/22/fckh8s-f-bomb-princess-video-isnt-offensive-its-exploitative/) …capitalizing on the shock effect the little girls generate just to SELL T-Shirts is disgusting…but nothing is sacred to marketeers…even using little children or the concept of feminism…they’re merely a means to an end??? i.e., corporate profits…

More disturbing is Society finds little girls saying the F word more offensive than the number of little girls and, their counterpart, women, reported every day who have been drugged, assaulted, exploited, raped, mutilated, murdered, and more. The video was reported pulled from YouTube…http://allenbwest.com/2014/10/shock-video-little-girls-drop-f-bombs-feminism/

“…this censorship gets to the exact point that the girls in the video are making… that society finds it more offensive for a girl to say f!@k than they do the fact that 1 out 5 women are sexually assaulted and raped and that women get paid 23% less than men for the exact same work. :  http://allenbwest.com/2014/10/shock-video-little-girls-drop-f-bombs-feminism/ Who is responsible for making this video and what does it say when we have to have children deliver a message on feminism?



…there are biological differences between women and men but the differences we perceive between actual males and females are not given by nature but created by the social contexthttp://www.psykologtidsskriftet.no/index.php?seks_id=52301&a=4

…All societies have rules and customs governing the orderly transferral of power, wealth and privileges from one generation to the next, i.e. primarily from one group of men to a related group of men in the next generation.

But men do not have the children. Men may be the fathers of the next generation of rulers, but men do not give birth to other men. This is the weak link of patriarchy. Men are, in spite of universally being of the ruling gender, dependent on women to have heirs; And women can be certain about who is their child and who is not, but men cannot be certain about who is the father of the children of their spouse.

Men are thus dependent on women and their fecundity – thus sexuality becomes not only an issue for the spouses in the individual partnership but becomes also an issue of great significance for society at large. The fecundity of women, and ultimately the sexuality of women hence has to be controlled since this really is the weak spot of patriarchy…

[desexualizing women in western civilization compared with Sweden]…Many societies have attempted to de-sexualise women. Good women are not sexual beings. They may, nay they shall, give their husbands their marital rights, i.e. sex, but their true vocation is not that of a harlot but of a mother. Motherhood is the fulfilment of womanhood. Thus female sexuality is controlled and the threat to male supremacy avoided in most Western, Christian cultures. Of course there are other women, women who are sexual, but they are seen as aberrations and not worthy the respect given the Mother Woman. Thus also is bred an attitude that facilitates prostitution and trafficking since the sexual woman is not a true woman and hardly human.  http://www.psykologtidsskriftet.no/index.php?seks_id=52301&a=4

Our culture tends to value males above females. While the culture is rapidly changing in the ways men are favored over women, especially in the developed world, there is still widespread physical abuse of women by men in some settings and very few places in which men and women have equal power. This attribution of rights and responsibilities based on sex is known as sexism. http://www.creativeconflictresolution.org/jc/maps-1/systems-of-oppression.html

the role that categories of social difference play in the political and economic systems…http://sfonline.barnard.edu/sexecon/tadiar_05.htm

how gender, race, and sexuality matter to the economy and vice versa…Systemic forms of social and bodily violence, and psychic and emotional violation, are intrinsic to modern structures of capitalist accumulation, and it is by looking at the social groups and identities of those who disproportionately bear these violent consequences—the bodily bearers of systemic crisis—that one can begin to understand the role that categories of social difference play in the political and economic systems themselves….http://sfonline.barnard.edu/sexecon/tadiar_05.htm

…Indeed, housework, sex work, affective work, and care work are now profitable global industries…social differences regulated by categories of gender, race, sexuality, culture, and nationality are essential to the process of capitalist accumulation to the extent that they serve as technologies of devaluation, necessary to the expropriation of people’s creative powers.  http://sfonline.barnard.edu/sexecon/tadiar_05.htm



The objectification of women…

The Systemic Proliferation of Misogynist Ideals is proliferated by and through the media…they have an agenda…

The objectification of women not only induces states of shame and fear in women; it also promotes the treatment of them as inhuman playthings. The sexual exploitation of women is especially predominant in advertising, which is impossible toescape because ads are omnipresent. Thin, barely clothed bodies appear in magazines and on the backs of buses. Intimate close-up shots of smoky bedroom eyes belonging to a woman wearing only lace negligee stare down at passerby from high billboards. Pelvic shots and chiseled bodies come through the television and the computer. They are in every clothing store and adorn the pages of weekly sales circulars.

The mechanism used in these ads is quite simple: Attractive bodies are employed to grab attention and simulate desire, which advertisers hope will then be transferred to the product. Buy the beer, get the girl. In this way, women‟s bodies are equated with commodities, presented as rewards of consumption. By instructing men to regard women‟s bodies as objects, ads help create an atmosphere that devalues women as people, encourages sexual harassment, and worse (Jacobson and Mazur 1995:84).

Often times the women portrayed in these ads are not even whole. The pictures show only legs, torsos, or an open mouth with rouge lip color provocatively placed atop a glass bottle. This reduces women to collections of parts, something less than human. This objectification and sexploitation has changed the rules of society and along with it the attitudes of men and women have changed.   http://newyorksociologist.org/11/Berberick2011.pdf

Given the barrage of images representing women as pieces of a body (mainly breasts, butts, and legs) instead of as a person, it is no surprise [women are assaulted, abducted, raped, mutilated, murdered]]  …

Therefore, if women are observing images thrust at them through mass communication as a guideline of how to act, they will begin to act in that manner because it mirrors their environment. If men are constantly viewing women as objects that must be possessed, or prizes to be won, they will begin treating them as so.   http://newyorksociologist.org/11/Berberick2011.pdf

One must ask then, who controls the media…ANSWER:  6 JEWISH COMPANIES control 96% of the world’s media http://theunjustmedia.com/Media/Six%20Jewish%20Companies%20Control%2096%25%20of%20the%20World’s%20Media.htm   A more recent source indicates…There aren’t numerous US mass media news sources at all; there are just five. Five giant corporations control 90 percent of US mass media …  http://rt.com/op-edge/158920-us-ukraine-media-control/

These five conglomerates are Time Warner, Disney, Murdochs’ News Corporation, Bertelsmann of Germany, and Viacom (formerly CBS). Their control spans most of the newspapers, magazines, books, radio and TV stations, movie studios, and much of the web news content of the United States…  … the conglomerates themselves are giant corporations. They are among the largest companies in the world. They contribute to both of America’s big parties, the Republicans and Democrats, while supporting their policies. US media companies have also received from the Reagan, Clinton, and Bush administrations progressively greater media deregulation, which permitted ever greater media ownership concentration, culminating for the first time in allowing all the media in a community or city to be owned by one company.

The Council’s members’ activities helped to promote the Iraq war, the bombings of Serbia and Libya, and the recent overthrow of the elected government of the Ukraine. The promotion of these policies by the media conglomerates which belong to the Council has been key to preparing the American public to accept these policies.

The media conglomerates’ fellow members of the Council on Foreign relations include a large number of large corporations, powerful CEO’s, and present and former government officials. One prominent member is former US National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski, whose doctrine calling for US control of the Eurasian landmass, which includes Russia and China, is one of the guiding elements in US foreign policy.

The power of lies, deceptions and disinformation as Americans pay the price of collective stupidity.

“You know very well, and the stupid Americans know equally well, that we control their government, irrespective of who sits in the White House. You see, I know it and you know it that no American president can be in a position to challenge us even if we do the unthinkable. What can they (Americans) do to us? We control congress, we control the media, we control show biz, and we control everything in America. In America you can criticize God, but you can’t criticize Israel…” Israeli spokeswoman, Tzipora Menache

Misogynist and the war on women…

Incidents of rape and violence…demonstrate a spectrum. Women aren’t killed in a bubble. They’re killed in a world that disenfranchises them, positions them as other, and disadvantages them. They’re killed in a society that sends the message, clearly and repeatedly, that they are sexual objects for men’s gratification and possession. The cultural elements that help to create these messages aren’t the cause of violence against women, but they are the context in which it happens. They help perpetrators to see women as objects. They frame violence against women as titillating, funny or excusable. They help us to blame victims when they come forward. They hamper justice. http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/sep/12/women-being-assaulted-abused-murdered-misogny

Wake up, in the big picture the controlled mass messaging in America objectifies women and  excuses violence against women.



Oscar Pistorius Penalty Phase and prison may not be able to accommodate his medical needs concerning his disability and prison are crowded in South Africa…  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/13/world/africa/south-africa-pistorius-sentencing/index.html?hpt=hp_t2  Judge Thokozile Masipa, is amazing to have found Pistorius mistaken his wife in their bathroom in the middle of the night for an intruder. In fact, her finding is exactly what Pistorius claimed throughout the trial. Yet, we may never know what was Pistorius intent when he fired the weapon 4 times into the bathroom door. The first bullet killed her.    Two things predators wait for: Vulnerability & Opportunity, then they strike.

Community Service? Makes me feel sick to my stomach the concept of community service for murder. But, perhaps the UN could designate an island, or make a deal with the Russians and send those who penetrate violence against woman and children to Siberian work camps. What do you think?



Weigh in,..

Do you think girls dress in a way that invites trouble? http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

Imagine this scenario: A young man is talking with his father about sexual assault. How might that conversation go in a world where you believed girls could provoke boys into attacking them simply by being scantily dressed?
Son: “Dad, you were right. I couldn’t control myself. She looked so…sexy. I knew she wanted it.”

Father: “It’s okay, son. It’s evolution. Men have been tempted since caveman days. She should have covered up. How short was her skirt?”

I’m praying most fathers would never dream of raising a son this way.
I accept the fact that men are visual. Mike Matthews puts it like this in an article on catholiceducation.org “….The fact is, it doesn’t take much visual stimulus at all for guys to become sexually aroused. The sight of the female body, even just a little bit and even if it’s a complete stranger, can trigger sexual thoughts instantly. This might be difficult for women to understand, but it’s absolutely true…”   http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

Linda Fairstein, who prosecuted sex crimes for 30 years in New York City says, “Sexual assault is the only crime in the book, literally, where the offender repeatedly blames the victim. I’ve … had men who attacked 5-year-old girls who’ve said, ‘she climbed on my lap and she was very sexy and I thought she was inviting me to touch her.'”  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 1 in 4 rapes take place in the victim’s home. Two in 10 rapes take place at the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. And almost two-thirds of all rapes are committed by someone the victim already knows. Don’t think a short skirt provoked these men to rape.  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/costello-provocative-clothes-dont-cause-rape/?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obinsite

My daughter was 22 when she died at her boyfriend’s music studio after someone spiked her drink with GHB. She had gone to the studio alone and after hours by late night invitation of the boyfriend/rapper. She told her roommate she was going to get the boyfriend and return. She lit a candle and left. No one saw her alive again.

Her boyfriend drove my daughter to a hospital dead on arrival. She had been dead several hours before he took her to the hospital. He never called 911 when she fell to the floor after unknowingly ingesting GHB instead he decided to let her sleep it off. He claimed he didn’t know how she came in contact with GHB and he and the band suggested in their statements someone spiked her drink at the dance club before she arrived.

Only problem with their collaborative story is she walked 13 blocks from the club to the boyfriend’s studio, which is physically impossible given the amount of GHB still in her body post-mortum. The boyfriend/band also claim in their statements to police that my daughter had been at the studio approximately 40 to 50 minutes before she collapsed in seizures. We now know depending on stomach contents one can react to GHB in 10 to 15 minutes following ingestion, depending on the stomach content and, presence of alcohol. Her’s stomach was near empty; she’d had two glasses of wine over several hours. It’s clear from these two facts alone there existed reasonable cause for the D.A. to take the case, because the expert’s report challenged the boyfriend/band’s version of the facts. The investigating police officer didn’t believe the boyfriend’s/band’s story because the band manager was known the police said for drug dealing and possibly laundering money. The case went from the police directly to the homicide division.

But, today, my daughter”s case remains a cold case. The homicide detective did little to investigate the case and, in my opinion, was a fan of the rapper/ band. He ignored the GHB expert report who reviewed the records and concluded the GHB had to have been ingested at the studio. This one report written in April 2000 provided cause to prosecute because the boyfriend/band had all testified they were not the source of the drug but the expert, Dr. Debroah Zvosec’s report indicated otherwise. The homicide detective accepted the boyfriend and band’s statements which claimed my daughter came to their studio uninvited and drunk, and, often, showed up at parties uninvited and on drugs. THE DETECTIVE BLAMED THE VICTIM. He immediately made it clear he believed my daughter voluntarily took GHB and he tried to discredit my daughter. Yet, the medical personnel, police, friends of my daughter all testified, otherwise. They boyfriend/band lied according to the people who walked home from the club with my daughter and saw her minutes before she walked the final block alone to the studio. These witnesses were never questioned by the homicide detective. Less than 24 hrs. after the boyfriend/rapper took my daughter’s dead body to a hospital, he left town. When I tracked him down, he confessed, he and the band had been messed up for days on various drugs which he said caused him to make a bad judgment call in not calling 911 when my daughter collapsed and went into a coma. The boyfriend and his band have been free men and were never prosecuted for their crime of causing the death of a WOMAN/GIRL!  I hope to soon complete and post her for my readers, Shadow Dance, a fictionalized version of my daughter’s story. 

Our bodies are the garden of our soul. We should not have to defend ourselves against the onslaught of predators who act like friends who care and value our lives but in reality only seek two things: vulnerability and opportunity…then, they strike. Raise your awareness to include your sisters, who may be out alone and vulnerable, please befriend them and invite them to join your table, group or network of friends.  Remember, You are more likely to survive sexual assault if you fight back then if you submit. Please take up a Self-defense class in your neighborhood!



Our Bodies-1 copyhttp://goddesspriestess.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/may-2014-054.jpg

“…so it has been: women’s power has declined as woman’s belly has been violated and shamed…5,000 years of patriarchal culture has degraded belly, body, woman, the sacred feminine, the soul, the feminine sensibility in both women and men, native peoples, and nature–all in a single process of devaluation. Because our belly is the bodily site of feminine sensibility, our patriarchal culture marks the belly as a target of assault, through rape, unnecessary hysterectomies and Cesarians [sic], reproductive technology, legal restrictions on women’s authority in pregnancy and childbirth, and belly-belittling fashions, exercise regimens, and diet schemes…a culture that literally hates women’s guts…” –Lisa Sarasohn, The Goddess Ungirdled

“Our bodies are vessels of the sacred, not the homes of sinful urges. Our bodies create and sustain the sacred. And that sacredness does not equate with any artificial notion of bodily perfection. All of us are fit habitations for the divine, no matter what the diet doctors, fitness gurus, health good fanatics, New Age healers, and the fashion police try to force on us. If we don’t take our bodies into account in our expression of [our religion], then it becomes a mere shadow of itself. When we are fully present in our bodies… becomes a three-dimensional, vibrant, fully fleshed-out expression of the divine…” –DeAnna Alba in How to Flesh Our Your Magick

Love Yourself as a sacred vessel, an expression of the divine. The giver of life. Rejoice in all the incredible gift of YOU. Love yourself wholly and completely.  Remember who you truly are as a divine creation. You are beauty and love itself. Celebrate you, celebrate life.



The Most Culturally Destructive Mandate in Our Culture: Be A Man! Stop with tears…stop with the sissy stuff…BE A MAN… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVI1Xutc_Ws

Tony Porter’s CALL TO MEN…redefining what it means to be a man, the “Man Box…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80

The Code of being a guy (Bill Pozzobon) From birth we are defined by gender…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDpuJXgD7Rs

Dr.Ryan McKelly, Unmasking Masculinity…The Importance of Social Connection. Anger masking vulnerability…: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBdnjqEoiXA



Misogynist violence isn’t the biological imperative of men. Misogyny, the worldview that engenders, validates, and normalizes violence against women, is beaten into boys and woven into the fabric of “successful masculinity”. http://earthfirstjournal.org/newswire/2014/06/03/soldiers-no-more-in-the-war-against-women/

“There are three key aspects of male socialization that have created, maintained, and normalized men’s violence against women. As men we must begin to unpack and deconstruct this socialization…In a society where men value women less and see them as property, an environment is created which overwhelmingly supports the objectification of women. Whether it’s the music and entertainment industry, corporate America, or even on a street corner, women are treated by men as objects (particularly sexual objects) throughout every stratum of our society.” http://www.movetoendviolence.org/blog/call-men-ending-mens-violence-against-women

10 Things Men Can Do To Engage Your Community
Solicit the newspaper to do an editorial series on violence against women and girls and the role of men in stopping it.

Call on the local school board to host one assembly on the role of men and boys in stopping violence against women and girls.

10 THNGS MEN CAN CONTRIBUTE TO ENDING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN:

Advocate for creation of a drama team in partnership with a local school to do prevention education for teens on gender-based violence.

Get local churches or faith groups to develop one local activity to focus on stopping violence against women and promoting healthy manhood.

Obtain and distribute information on the services of men’s prevention organizations you participate.

Commit to provide information about preventing violence against women and girls to at least one organization you belong to.

Advocate for all local middle school and high school sports coaches to attend a training on violence against women and girls.

Host an Annual Event (Pancake Breakfast or Lunch) to help men raise awareness about violence against women and recruit other men to participate.

Contact your local DV and SV services and join as allies support the work that women are doing.

Give your time, talents, gifts, and resources to domestic violence prevention programs in your community. http://www.acalltomen.org/engage

Awareness is the key to change, socially and politically.



What is known about Hannah Graham and other killings of women under 20 IN THE SAME AREA WHERE THE TRAIL GOES COLD IN THE SEARCH FOR HANNAH..: http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/03/us/virginia-hannah-graham-missing-what-we-know/index.html?hpt=ju_c1

It’s horrifyingly sad the number of killing fields discovered by police and FBI, all over the U.S., where predators, who are men, prey on women and discard their dead, often unidentified, bodies in remote areas in the wilderness. But it’s not just the US, it’s all over the planet. Incidents are reported all over the Internet. It’s disturbing.

Amnesty International and other organizations are working to end Violence Against Women: http://www.amnestyusa.org/our-work/issues/women-s-rights/violence-against-women
Do your part, ESPECIALLY MEN, to end violence against women and speak up when you witness a man intimidating or bullying a woman or child, or acting abusive or threatening, or if you witness someone man-handling or forcing a woman to go somewhere she appears unwilling to go…these are just some of the signs going on all around us if we just become AWARE that violence against women is epidemic in the world. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE & HELP RAISE AWARENESS BY ACKNOWLEDGING WOMAN AND CHILDREN ARE AT RISK AS VULNERABLE PREY TO PREDATORS WHO ARE INTENT ON DESTRUCTION.



GET THE FACTS FROM THIS RESEARCH ON WOMEN & SELF-DEFENSE: http://vaw.sagepub.com/content/20/3/252.abstract (FULL TEXT AVAILABLE AT CITE)



et cetera
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