Daterape_awareness Blog











{November 24, 2014}   The Friendly Predator

A young woman was staying with her family at a motel when she met a nice young man hobbling down the hall on crutches who asked her for help getting into his room. It was mid-day, he was well spoken and groomed, barely able to stand up, and her family was close by. Once again serial killer Ted Bundy snared a helpful victim. http://www.crime-safety-security.com/outdoor-safety-friendly-predators.html

WARNING: Stay away from anyone with sad stories, asking for directions or for the time, etc. A predator’s “conversation” is a form of testing. Tough targets tend not to be selected. Refuse all requests. You’re not obligated to chitchat. For outdoor safety, it’s far better to overreact and be rude than to end up a victim. http://www.crime-safety-security.com/outdoor-safety-friendly-predators.html

True Stories of online Predators using online dating sites including Christian sites to recruit victims: http://www.instantcheckmate.com/crimewire/10-horrifying-true-stories-of-online-predators-who-attacked-in-real-life/

ADVICE: …ten things that every woman should know about personal safety, and are covered in the Laurs’ newly published book, Total Awareness: A Woman’s Safety Book:

1. Awareness: Your first line of defence.awareness of yourself, your surroundings, and your potential attacker’s likely strategies.
2. Use your sixth sense. “Sixth sense.” “Gut instinct.” Avoid a person or a situation which does not “feel” safe–you’re probably right.
3. Self-defense training.
4. Escape: Always your best option. You are far more likely to be killed or seriously injured if you go with the predator than if you run away…
5. Your right to fight…statistics clearly show that your odds of survival are far greater if you do fight back. Aim for the eyes first and the groin second.
6. Pepper spray: Never depend on any self-defence tool or weapon to stop an attacker. Trust your body and your wits…
7. Home invasions: never, ever open your door unless you either are certain you know who’s on the other side…for more tips see http://powertochange.com/life/personalsafetytips/



Did you know that your biggest defense tool is your voice? Most assailants want the people they attack to stay as peaceful as possible so that such people do not attract any response. So if someone attacks SCREAM attract a lot of attention to yourself.

Did you know this…Anything you do in a violent, life-threatening situation that does not cause an injury is worthless to you. This article goes on to say you’ve got about 5 SECONDS in a violent attack. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/self-defense-techniques

5 SECONDS against a man. A violent man. How well might you do? What would you do. Remember 5 SECONDS> You know what, as women we need practice…we need training. I’ve heard positive things about the Israel self-defense training. I think we owe it to our daughters, grand-daughters, nieces, and all you dear sisters our there around the planet…to be responsible for protecting ourselves against attack…we need to focus our attention on learning the art of self-defense.



{November 19, 2014}   Stealing the Lives of Women

Stolen Dreams ~ A young woman killed days before she’s to enter Ms. World pageant http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/19/world/americas/honduras-beauty-queen-dead/index.html?hpt=hp_t1. I couldn’t believe it when I read this as I recalled another similar story about the 1998 Miss World Linor Abargi who two months before the pageant.was abducted and raped but went on to take the crown and advocates to brings awareness of sexual violence against women: http://www.democracynow.org/2013/2/19/brave_miss_world_raped_before_winning  Women are at risk and now, like never before, its important to take steps to protect yourself from predators by learning self defense. At least you’ve got a fighting chance at getting away.

Sexual Predator Warning Signs: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/266



Allen Jones—known for his sculptures of semi-dressed women in bondage gear, contorted to look like household objects—Jones sidesteps his abhorrent perpetuation of misogyny and attempts to justify the series by self-identifying as a feminist:   http://msmagazine.com/blog/2014/10/31/artist-who-objectifies-women-declares-himself-a-feminist/  and they call the objectification of women art?

perhaps Mr. Jones like others who want to cash in…are using the word feminism to disguise their actions under a banner of equality and are using this banner as a shield to not only deflect any criticism of their actions…

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL???  (one man’s perspective) FEMINISM MARGINALIZING MEN: The difference between feminists and men, is we don’t see the feminist movement as a movement for equality. Most of us see feminism as the movement that is responsible for men and boys becoming increasingly marginalised in society and eroding our legal rights….Men see feminism as a movement that places the interests of women above the interests of the other half of the population. A movement for female supremacy…The hate of men within feminism is systemic…  http://masculistfeminist.hubpages.com/hub/Why-So-Many-People-Are-Against-Feminism  WHY DOES A MOVEMENT FOR EQUALITY BETWEEN THE SEXES MEAN FEMINIST HATE MEN?  EQUALITY BETWEEN THE SEXES MEANS WHOLENESS AND UNITY…THE YING AND THE YANG..ONE IS NOT SUPERIOR OR INFERIOR TO THE OTHER BUT NECESSARY PARTS OF THE WHOLE. IT IS NOT ABOUT HATE ITS ABOUT WHOLENESS.

You can object to modern, pre-packaged “feminism” and not be crazy. http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/sunday-commentary/20141010-heather-wilhelm-dont-buy-pre-packaged-feminism.ece

FEMINISM IS NOT ABOUT HATING MEN: It’s about wanting the same rights, chances and privileges that men have…http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/jun/30/what-feminism-really-about-katharine-whitehorn

What Men Say About Why Some Men Are Still Afraid of Feminism: http://www.michaelkaufman.com/2012/why-are-some-men-still-afraid-of-feminism/

A CALL TO ALL GOOD MEN..The appalling words the world is saying about our daughters / THANK YOU Michael Kaufman  http://www.michaelkaufman.com/2013/appalling-words-the-world-is-saying-about-our-daughters/    ….We [Men / Dads] need to get our acts together and make sure we’re speaking out in our homes and communities against attitudes and jokes that belittle girls and women. That try to limit women’s control over their own bodies—like limiting access to birth control or safe abortion. That blame women for rape. That turn a blind eye against violence towards women.

[Men / Dads] need to challenge all those sexist attitudes around us. We need to take on those in our places of worship who assign women a second-class place in our religions, like saying women can’t be priests, imams, or rabbis, or that teach that men should be in charge in the home. We need to speak out to the teams we coach, the boys we teach, the men we work or play with.  http://masculistfeminist.hubpages.com/hub/Why-So-Many-People-Are-Against-FeminismTHIS IS WHAT

IN MY MIND, FEMINISM IS ABOUT, WHOLENESS AND HEALING. ITS ABOUT HEALING THE DIVISIONS BETWEEN THE SEXES NOT ELEVATING AS SUPERIOR OR DEMOTING AS INFERIOR…BUT EQUAL AND WHOLE. .ITS ABOUT BALANCE AND INTEGRITY.



Ironic that quote is by a man but the point is, WOMEN ARE NOT THE PROBLEM THEY’RE THE SOLUTION _ HALF THE SKY

Follow link to video:  http://vialogue.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/half-the-sky-review-notes/

The global statistics on the abuse of girls are numbing. It appears that more girls have been killed in the last fifty years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in all the battles of the twentieth century. More girls are killed in this routine “gendercide” in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the twentieth century. | In the nineteenth century, the central moral challenge was slavery. In the twentieth century, it was the battle against totalitarianism. We believe that in this century the paramount moral challenge will be the struggle for gender equality around the world. http://vialogue.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/half-the-sky-review-notes/

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi



What have women gained in the move to empower women…

In 1920 American women won the right to vote.

By the 1930s, only 13 women won seats in congress.

In the U.S., during the 1960s social upheaval women took to the streets and burned their bras in response to the phenomenon known as the women’s movement, which intended a shift in consciousness of men and women concerning gender equality for women. Women during the 60s also gained access to birth control pills.

In the 70s Women gained reproductive rights through the legalization of abortion.

In the 80 Women took control of their economic fates and now make up more than half of the workforce (51%) but earn only 80% of their male cohorts; and, only  2% of corporate bosses for Fortune 500 companies are women. Yet, Childless women in corporate America earn almost as much as men. Mothers with partners earn less and single mothers much less. [A] survey in America indicates 74% of parents said that they did not have enough time for their children.    http://www.economist.com/node/15174418

As a result of the shifts and changes during the 60s, 70s, and 80s American women lived very different lives in the 90s from women of the 50s. In 1990, Congress passed a law to provide federal funds for child care.., and created the Family and Medical Leave Act. In the 90s two-parents working became the norm to meet growing expenses for housing and rising education costs, and live comfortable lives. Bill Clinton during the 90s recognized and committed to recognizing the contributions made by women in all walks of life, and committed his administration to advancing the status of women.  http://shenyang.usembassy-china.org.cn/uploads/images/KYFFp59L1dwF5zj84P2KNg/women-role.pdf

But Ways TODAY we are still repressing women (in 26 ways according to this report) Only in a culture that passively accepts sexism would people think that these were appropriate things to say or do. If we remain silent, we are nothing but accomplices to an age-old crime. But I’m just a woman…what do I know?

1. We associate rape with accidents (Barbara Listing, an anti-abortion leader, argued that Michigan women should be forced to pay extra for health insurance to cover the cost of rape. According to Barbara, no one plans to get into a car accident or to be flooded, but they still pay insurance in case of these events…)

2. We allow women or girls to be forced into marriage every 2 minutes ~ A recent study by Plan UK revealed that every single day, across the world, 38,461 women and girls are being forced into marriages against their will. Many of these lives are exchanged for money or to settle an unrelated debt. This number doesn’t even include the unbelievably young girls that are forced into prostitution on a daily basis.

3. We tell girls they need to act a certain way in order to have value ~ Justin Lookadoo, a religious dating coach and public speaker, made some pretty ignorant comments…website…“Be mysterious. Dateable girls know how to shut up.” and “Need him. Dateable girls know that guys need to be needed. A Dateable girl isn’t Miss Independent.”   THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE “COOL GIRL” RAP

4. We believe they have a right to do what they want to women’s bodies ~ Just listen to the Right discuss women’s reproductive rights, etc.

5. Priorities are completely DISTORTED when it comes to Sexual Violence against women ~ A female prisoner who was repeatedly raped and assaulted by one of her guards was told that there was nothing the warden could do about it… except put her on birth control…clearly rape was preferable to an unwanted pregnancy.

6. We think its okay to discriminate based on biology ~ Fox News medical “expert” Dr. David Samadi claims that forcing men and women to pay equally for health insurance is unfair…his most convincing argument, however, is the fact that women have both breasts and ovaries, while men only have the prostate.

7. We still don’t understand teenagers cannot give consent ~ Teacher Stacey Rambold was convicted of repeatedly raping his fourteen-year-old student, who later killed herself during the course of the trial. But instead of receiving an appropriate punishment, he spent only thirty days in jail, because according to the judge, the victim was “older than her chronological age” and was “as in as much control of the situation” as her teacher.

8 We blame the victim ~ Criminal defense attorney Joseph DiBenedetto appeared across cable TV in October to remark on the terrible rape case of a Missouri teenager. While discussing the logistics of the case, DiBenedetto speculated that the fourteen-year-old victim was actually a conniving little liar: “She is leaving her home at 1 a.m. in the morning… And what happens? She gets caught by her mom, she’s embarrassed, and the easy way out here is, ‘Mom, someone took advantage of me.'” He continued, “What did she expect to happen at 1 a.m. in the morning after sneaking out?

9. We still have the audacity to use violence against women to sell products ~ A signage company in Texas decided to show how “realistic” its vehicle decals were by depicting a woman tied up in the back of a pickup truck. The ploy was obviously met with outrage from anyone who saw the decal— a reaction the owner of the company says he didn’t anticipate. Honestly, it’s hard to tell which mentality is dumber: the idea that this ad gimmick would be ok, or that other people would agree with you.

10.  We still claim that some things are very specifically meant for a “man’s world” ~ San Francisco sports radio host Damon Bruce really believes that in spite of the overwhelming number of women that participate in sports, they really have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to discussing them. “A lot of sports has lost its way, and I’m gonna tell you, part of the reason is because we’ve got women giving us directions,” he said as he shook his finger and made us feel really, really sorry.

11. We continue not to take domestic violence serious ~ {How many times do you cases like the following? How about all the time!] Stephanie Bond is lucky to be alive. Her ex-husband, Gabriel Omo-Osagie, was arrested for domestic battery in November, 2009. She filed a restraining order against him, but the man was still allowed to see her children on weekdays for nine hours a day. Omo-Osagie was acquiring more firearms even though he’d had his license revoked after the incident, and he admitted to the police that he had violated the surprisingly generous custody agreement. Bond reported all of this to the police. Nothing was done. In February of 2010, Omo-Osagie shot his ex-wife three times before taking his own life. Miraculously, Bond survived…

12. Workplace discrimination is still rampant ~ Jessica Benefield, a former executive chef at a Nashville restaurant called Virago, is accusing CEO Chris Hyndman of subjecting his female employees to physical, verbal, and sexual harassment. Hyndman allegedly had a scale for which he would rank both staff and customers based on “hotness” and asked staff members to bring in “hot chicks for him to meet and entertain.” Despite the fact that Benefield was an award-winning chef and received great performance reviews at work, she was terminated immediately for “making false and malicious statements about superiors” after she complained about the treatment of female workers. Nothing says “malicious” like “Stop making it uncomfortable for me to come to work,” right?

13. We consider maxi pads and tampons to be more dangerous than guns ~ “Let’s take away an armed woman’s period supplies. What could possibly go wrong?” Such was the apparent thought process of a bunch of security guards at a Texas courthouse as they confiscated tampons and maxi pads, but allowed anyone with a concealed carry permit to take their guns right in with them…The reason for the sudden fear of cotton and cardboard was due to the fact that the subject to be presented that day was whether or not abortion clinics in the state would remain open.

14. We believe beautiful is not beautiful enough ~ Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence is the actress that was desperately needed to wake up Hollywood. She portrays strong female characters and has been known to condemn the industry’s desire for unhealthily thin women. She has stated that she would never drop to an unhealthy weight just for a role. So when Canadian fashion magazine “Flare” released their cover of a VERY photoshopped Jennifer, it was all the more ridiculous. Not only did they make the already-beautiful star even thinner, but they also moved her collar bone down. Magazines are sending a very clear message that if your boobs aren’t big enough, your eyes aren’t bright enough, and a small vehicle can’t drive between your thighs, you shouldn’t be in the picture at all.

15. Our advertisements depict objects rather than people (objectification of women)~ Despite the fact that studies have suggested that sex actually doesn’t sell, advertisers continue to undress women for the sake of getting more people to watch their stuff. The issue, however, is not the fact that a beautiful lady is strutting her stuff for some cash. But the cinematography looks like a science class dissection for teenage boys. They show you the girl’s body in sections (BUTT. BOOBS. BUTT. LEGS. BOOBS. burger. CROTCH. burger. BOOBS.), which turns her into a series of objects rather than a human being.

16. We still think an erection is more important than birth control ~ Many pre-Obamacare health insurance programs cover erectile dysfunction drugs, vasectomies, vacuum erection devices, and even penile implants. But when rumors started swirling around that women might soon get their birth control covered by insurance, a lot of people got kind of upset. Many companies, including Domino’s Farms (owned by Tom Monaghan, the guy who founded Domino’s Pizza) are claiming that their health insurance policies shouldn’t have to cover contraceptives, citing religious freedom. In a lawsuit filed by Monaghan, he claims that since the Catholic Church considers contraception a ‘grave sin,’ his company shouldn’t have to provide insurance that pays for it. He also likened the morning-after pill to abortion, even though the pill’s job is to stop fetuses (and therefore abortions) from ever happening in the first place. Believe it or not, both men and women have sex. We’re just trying to prevent pregnancy that can be caused by all those government-funded boners.

17 We allow rapist to sue for custody ~In Massachusetts in 2009, a fourteen-year-old girl was raped by 20-year-old Jamie Melendez, who was sentenced to sixteen years of probation, which involved him going to family court once a week. Melendez then argued that he should have visitation rights to the child that he fathered through the rape since he was paying child support. It seems a little ridiculous until you realize that thirty-one states allow rapists to sue for custody, at which point it becomes completely ridiculous. The victim is desperate (and suing the state) to end the relationship between her and Melendez, but if she fails to show up at any of her scheduled court dates over the next sixteen years, she risks losing custody of her daughter.

17. We continue to be a willing audience for misogynist  ~ Rush Limbaugh ‘Look, if you want to be a receptacle for male semen and not pay a price, I’m your guy.'” Given Limbaugh’s record for assholery, the most shocking thing about his comment is that he needed to specify that the semen was male, as though he thinks that females also carry sperm.   For more by this author: http://news.distractify.com/avericlements/signs-the-battle-for-womens-rights-is-not-nearly-over-2/



{November 2, 2014}   A Culture of Misogyny

College Fraternity accused of creating Culture of Misogyny: http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/31/justice/lawsuit-phi-kappa-tau-fraternity/index.html?hpt=hp_t4

HERE IS A MAN BLOGGING ABOUT THE CULTURE MISOGYNY AFTER THE MAY 2014 CA REVENGE ON WOMEN SHOOTING (http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/24/elliot-rodgers-california-shooting-mental-health-misogyny)  …I have known nerdy male stalkers, and, yes, nerdy male rapists. I’ve known situations where I knew something was going on but didn’t say anything—because I didn’t want to stick my neck out, because some vile part of me thought that this kind of thing was “normal,” because, in other words, I was a coward and I had the privilege of ignoring the problem…other people’s bodies and other people’s love are not something that can be taken nor even something that can be earned—they can be given freely, by choice, or not.  http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/27/your-princess-is-in-another-castle-misogyny-entitlement-and-nerds.html

The NUS defines lad culture as a group or “pack” mentality expressed in activities such as sport and heavy alcohol consumption, and in “banter” which is “often sexist, misogynist, and homophobic”.   http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/oct/07/lad-culture-women-rape-sexual-harassment-abuse-laddish



Comment by Chelsea Handler after her Istagram of herself topless was removed by Instagram…but it was okay for Gladamir Putin to post a topless pic??? http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/31/showbiz/chelsea-handler-topless-photo/index.html?hpt=en_c1

What do you think about different beliefs, attitudes and acceptances based on gender? Its okay for men to catcall women or to buy magazines with naked women or to go to strip joints to stare at naked women but not okay for a woman to post an instagram of her own naked breast? That kind of thinking couldn’t be right. Why do men always get involved when it comes to women’s bodies and their choices about what they do with their bodies?



I read these stories told by women who hide their faces to testify to what they endure across the planet: assault, rape mutilation, torture, murder, and worse atrocities and violence against women. http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/30/world/meast/isis-female-slaves/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

These assaults include messaging demeaning the very spirit of the female principle. The violence women and children are suffering at the hands of ISIS terrorist should be a battle cry for all armies of the world to rise up and exterminate terrorism and violence against against all peoples no matter their gender or the color of their skin or the their religion. If you’re not a part of the solution then you’re the problem. There is definitely evidence that ISIS terrorism is not defined by boundaries. A woman schooled in self-defense is better prepared to defend herself and her family. Be prepared. What I also find unacceptable is using the name of the Egyptian female goddess of rebirth and Mother of Life, ISIS’  [see: http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/egyptian_goddess_isis.htm], name to symbolize an aberrition of patriarchy.  People hear the name ISIS and associate it with the atrocities of violence.

We live in the twenty-first century yet cannot figure out how to live in peace and compassion with one another??? Or perhaps, there is something else at work. Perhaps, these atrocities and violence against women and children as war casualties is merely a reflection of free enterprise and globalist who pull the strings in the background financing wars and making mega billions selling arms to all the waring factions. They aren’t concerned with who wins or looses or who lives or dies. Its disgusting business, war.

Wake up…be hyper aware and care about yourself enough to arm yourself with self-defense.



{October 30, 2014}   Attention, men: stop the catcalls

Click below to take a walk through NY with a woman in plain black slacks and black crew t and walk around with a camera recording the harassment a woman  endures just out for a walk… catcalls to me are like a mating call…its an uninvited predatory act….as though a girl / woman is a piece of meat on display. I know the uneasy feel that goes off inside me when I hear them…alarm.  http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/29/opinion/robbins-street-harassment/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

This is an example of our US culture of rape where no laws exist to protect woman from this (catcalls) form of aggressive predatorily harassment. Instead, it is common and consider by many men a male right of passage. There’s no dignity in it:



et cetera
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