Women's Awareness Blog











{December 24, 2009}   Merry Christmas

May the peace and joy of Christmas be yours… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dnrosVyamY
And, in loving memory of my daughter’s beautiful dancing spirit and her favorite characters the smurfs, I bring you these tunes to put a smile on your face and joy in your heart:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oofM5ttD6c and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ASLQI6l27o&NR=1 and may you have a blessed silent night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZUZ_twxVwY

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{December 24, 2009}   Waiting

We all are waiting…waiting for our relatives to arrive…waiting for them to leave…waiting for the sun to set…waiting for the sun to rise…waiting for tomorrow…waiting for tonight…waiting for lunch…waiting for dinner…wating to be wed…waiting to be divorced…waiting for a baby’s birth…waiting for the first word…waiting on the first step…waiting for first grade…waiting for a first date…waiting to graduate…waiting to get accepted to college…waiting to find a job…waiting to find love..waiting to heal a broken heart…waiting for a plane..waiting for a train…waiting for a boat…waiting for a taxi…waiting on a phone call…we’re all waiing…  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8xtoP2neSQ

Read this quietly then send it on its Journey…

To realize The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn’t have one.


To realize The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.


To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.


To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who


Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.


To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother


Who has given birth to
A premature baby….

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.


To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.


To realize the value of a friend or family member
LOSE ONE.


The origin of this letter is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.

























{December 20, 2009}   Sleep Baby Sleep

Women’s Health has an informative Website on date-rape drugs: http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/date-rape-drugs.cfm. As women, awareness is our best weapon against being victimized. This site provides step-by-step actions to take to avoid being victimized: http://www.ehow.com/how_2138984_avoid-being-ghb-victim.html.  When, at the invitation of Abstract Rude to his music studio and someone, (Abstract says he didn’t see it happen)…slipped GHB into my daughter’s drink and she had a violent reaction to the drug but Abstract, and his band who were supposedly her friends, people she trusted, decided not to call 911 and made the fatal decision to let her sleep off the poisonous effects even though she had seizures and fell into a GHB-coma. According to a police officer in L.A. , Californina, Trinka Porata, states: “How sad indeed to lay dying as “friends” just party on nearby.” She states that she has heard of cases where they partied for eight hours or more AFTER their “friends” had already died nearby.” This was exactly what happened to my daughter. Her boyfriend, Rapper Abstract Rude (aaron Pointer) explain to me that he at some point in the early morning laid down beside my daughter, who he said had been sleeping, and he slept beside her. He claimed to have heard her “shallow breathing.” Trinka Porata, L.A. P. D says that those who party on through the night knowing it was GHB that caused the person to convulse and turn blue…they assume the person they put to bed would wake in the morning but “wake up…to find a dead body beside them… knowing it was GHB. REAL friends don’t let friends lay dying when help could save them… http://www.projectghb.org/2008/deathstat.php  It is unconscionable that a human being who acts like your friend and your lover could be so inhumane. But, then drugs make people do and act in bizarre ways and they justify or deny their culperability, and go free to live. My daughter’s death made me painfully aware of the fragility of life. The loss and grief that her brother and I have suffered because of the senseless negligence of another, has scared our hearts forever. I continue to tell her story and hope that her story raises the awareness for other women. I look at the public figure of the Rapper with my daughter when she was drugged and died, and, I wonder how many woman have been and will be victimzed by this man. He sings music while others lay dying. Live life from Awareness. Remember all your power is in your awareness of your power.



{December 13, 2009}   Videos on Ghb

So hello from the sidelines. I watched this video made by a young woman who was drugged with date-rape drug and raped. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvOpN-QQs_U  At least there is alot of talk and videos like this that are coming out that help to raise awareness. I remember how ignorant people were when my daughter was drugged with Ghb. It is so amazing that Ghb is made from floor stripper. People can actually go to a hardware store and by the chemicals to make the drug. Here is a video on how it is made: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIRXSP73U0w What is even more amazing is that it is oderless, colorless, and tasteless. What you probably didn’t realize is how widespread Ghb is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kiL3mNNjhI  I would like to speak to young college-aged women and and men and show them videos like these, one pictures is worth a thousand words, who would want to be in this condition: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAGN7ZPtwnU  Be aware of your surroundings and your open containers. Be smart and be safe



I remember the first time I was molested. I was five. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The man who molested me was one of my father’s friends. The man was drunk. The next time I was molested, it was attempted rape. I was nine. It was my friend’s brothers and some of their cousins. The next couple of times I was molested, I was a young teenager. Those time were again my father’s business friends, who had too much to drink. I was date-raped when I was 19. I had too much to drink and had asked my girlfriend’s boyfriend to give me a ride to my house. I woke up in the morning and started screaming when I looked over and saw my friend’s boyfriend laying naked in my bed; I was naked too but remember nothing about how I got that way or how the man got there. He kept saying “I thought you knew.” I think guys like to think the comotose drunk female body that they are having sex with is really conscious. My daughter, she wasn’t raped, at least that is what I was told by the medical examiner. My daughter was drugged with the date-rape drug, Ghb. She knew her assilants. She didn’t know they would drug her to death. They poisoned her with Ghb. I see her boyfriend’s name, Abstract Rude, on the Internet and I feel sick because the police did not press charges against him or his friends who were responsible for her death. I didn’t go to the media and say hey those were the guys that rapper, Abstract Rude, and his band. One of them put Ghb in my daughter’s drink and she died. I thought I couldn’t say anything because the police were investigating. But, there was no real investigation. It was a mockery of justice. What I want you to remember is that the people who rape and put date-rape drugs in your drinks are usually the really nice people you know: your friends, your boyfriend, your relatives, people your husband or dad or brother knows. They are everywhere. They are prdeators. It is hard to be invisible. It is also amazing how innocent it can all start out to be, and then there you are victimized. All the times I was molested by my father’s friends I never told anyone.  I kept it a seccret. When my daughter was drugged to death, I stayed silent hoping the police would prosecute the guilty. They didn’t. No one has to keep silent anymore. I am here, and there are hundreds of woman like me who want to listen, who want to be there for you, who want to help heal your pain. Don’t be alone in your pain. Speak up! The more who raise their voices there will be no more secrets to hide. There is not enough darkness for one candle: http://www.pbase.com/selvin/image/29142391



{December 8, 2009}   Getting Away With Murder

I have been distracted and missed  not being ale to return to make post regularly but I have been focused on writing an academnic paper and have a thesis to start writing soon. I hope that there are men and woman who come to read my blogs. I write in memory of my daughter hoping to make a difference in someone’s life. I write because I hope that other woman will come here to read my post and to post their responses, as well as their stories. I know there are other mothers, sisters, brothers, dads, and  families who have suffered because of rape, assault, drugs, murder, or maybe their child or sister or wife or mother went out alone and there was no one to look out for her and something bad happened and they never came bac home.

That is what happened to my daughter. Her boyfriend, rapper Abstract Rude, had left her a message to come over to his studio late one night, and after she had returned  from walking home from a club with a friend. She walked over to Abstract’s studio (Ocean Floor), which was a block and half away. But her friend said that when he walked her home and said good night to her before she walked over to the studio, she looked radiant and happy. She then walked over to the studio. She walked there alone. Apparently, 45 minutes after arriving, my daughter fell to the floor at the studio. She was having a seizure and went into a coma. Abstract Rude (Aaron Pointer) didn’t call 911. One of his band members tried giving her mouth-to-mouth, But, they didn’t call 911. She died there. Abstract denied knowing or seeing anyone spke her drink with GHB (http://www.theantidrug.com/drug-information/commonly-abused-drugs/ghb.aspxand ) .He and his band members claimed my daughter came there high on GHB, which would have been physically impossible because she has just walked 11 blocks home from a club and another 1.5 blocks to the studio. GHB reacts in the body within 10 to 15 minutes depending on the amount. The amount in her body was significant. Abstract told me he laid beside her on the palette but he wasn’t aware she was dying. How could he not know that she quit breathing? He said he heard her shallow breathing.

He and his manager and band members drove her to the hospital dead-on-arrival. The hospital attendants said the bands story was sketch and that the band manager dropped them at the hospital and then went back to the studio. My daughter died because someone spike her drink with enough GHB to kill someone and, yet, no one was held accountable. The police said that the band members were probably too high and probably too afraid  to call for medical assistance, and let her die. What kind of a man is Abstract Rude? http://www.myspace.com/abstractrude  I remember the assistant district attorney (San Fancisco) telling me that my daughter was “in the wrong place at the wrong time!” What an pathetic thing to say. He also told me “Well, if this was the midwest there would be a lynching but this is San Francisco and anything goes here, the juries have heard it all.” Abstract/Aaron Pointer, his manger, and his band claimed they knew nothing about the Ghb but there were significant amount still remaining in her blood even after she died. Ghb metabiolizes quickly out of the body, but there were still large quantities in her blood. They were the ones with the GHB and they knew how her drink got spiked.

How could something so senseless happen? I am wrting a book about it. I already wrote a memoir about what happend but now I am writing a fiction based on the memoir and hope to get the story published. I will be posting chapters here once I have a few chapters edited. It is unbelieveable Abstract, his manager and band were responsible for my daughter’s death but there lives were not interupted. They are out there making music and living life but they frivously wasted the life my daughter was living. I think there is a cultural bias among American men that administering date-rape drugs to unsuspecting young girls and women is okay if they can get away with it. The DA said to me, your daughter was trusting, she thought because she was for real that other people were too. You can’t trust anyone with your drink or with your life.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEJYEauuoY8



et cetera