Women's Awareness Blog











{March 16, 2012}   Memories

Thirteen years since beloved Skylar tragically died at the hands of Abstract Rude and his band.  Thirteen years of silence as to why no one called for medical assistance.  I have written over 100,000 words to create a fictional version of what I think may have happened during the early pre-dawn hours of Easter 1999 (Alchemy Of A Shadow Dance – Part I).  But, nothing can bring her back.  Nothing can replace the hole left in her absence.   Each spring, beginning in March, my body instinctively begins to shed the protective layers built around the initial pain.   It is as though there is something in the scents of the season that trigger my memory of pain and loss, and suffering is renewed.   My only refuge from the past is the present.  For if I choose the present the past does not hurt as much.  Initially, following her death, I lived primarily in memories, the past, and that was the greatest source of pain.  It is difficult to let go of the past when that may be where those we love now live.   But, I have discovered that as long as I clung to the past, the present was never realized.  Acceptance of the mystery surrounding her death came with time.   She was the greatest joy of my life for twenty-two years.  I am grateful that she was my daughter and that I had twenty-two years loving her, respecting her and admiring her.  Death and time do not diminish love for the heart never forgets what it loves.

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Anonymous says:

I’m glad to read of you moving on and letting go of the past and living in the present. I think of Skylar and feel her fierce and fabulous spirit — she was amazing and still lives through us. Merry Christmas



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