Women's Awareness Blog











How quickly our lives can twist in literally seconds into an unrecognizable existence. In the morning your a wife and mother and then its all taken from you. A Florida woman in the linked article [http://www.essence.com/2015/03/04/marissa-alexander-exclusive/] runs from her husband, who has a history of abused her, and previous wives, but, in a heated moment she gets a gun to protect herself and fires a warning shot into the kitchen wall. Her husband runs and calls 911reporting his wife just fired at him and his kids but the kids weren’t in the house. At her trial she is convicted of felony assault and sentenced to 20 years even though Florida is a “Stand Your Ground” defense state BUT CLEARLY the law does not apply to women against their husband. Why is that? Discrimination against women is systemic and persistent. Why does gender play a role in one’s ability to receive equal justice?

Advertisements


Gender and Sexuality are different concepts

Male & Female = Gender

There are 2 options for everyone on the planet, which can be broken down into 3 distinct pieces: Gender Identity; Gender Expression; and Biological Sex (reproductive organs i.e., penises and vaginas are the determinant of gender).

But, gender is not universal, is not cross-cultural and gender changes over time.

But, gender is relative, is cultural, and gender, the way we express it, changes over time.

But if someone has a penis he’s raised as a male; if someone has a vagina she’s raised as a female

But gender is really about how you make sense of your sexuality in your head…its based on many determinants…about how you line up with the expectations associated with reproductive organs (according to a TED speaker: http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/05/my-ted-talk-understanding-the-complexities-of-gender/)

But, some people…have a different gender identity than one of the two options (male or female) like transgender and all the other categories of gender related to human beings in the 21st century.

Gender isn’t something you can understand in ten minutes. Its more complex than just whether one has a vagina or a penis. So, what’s going on?

In summary according to a TED speaker, your biological sex (or the parts you’re born with) is only a component of gender, its not a determinate of who you are as body parts don’t necessarily mandate who you’re going to be.

Not all people fall into the binary gender categories of male and female…trans-gender, transvestite, genderqueer, agender, etc. if you’re born with a penis you’re taught to be a  boy; if you’re born with a vagina you’re taught to be a girl. But the two gender categories don’t express the complexity that exists.

Gender Equality is about the freedom to uniquely express gender without binary categories or stereotypical judgments.

Now, we need space…to allow everyone, despite how they biologically present, to express their gender uniquely and feel safe when they don’t fit into a binary gender world.

It’s complicated. Forget what you’ve been narrowly taught to believe about gender and Raise your Awareness, opening your heart to allow acceptance of everyone’s relative expression of gender.



When I talk about a culture of rape, I’m talking about the way a society collectively thinks, ignores, trivializes, normalizes or makes into jokes sexual assault, rape and violence against women. In America rape, assault and violence against women is reported in the news every day; pop music blast lyrics that blur the lines of consent; sexy apparel is designed for a younger and younger market; athletics, musicians, politicians, and actors who rape are supported and the victims blamed for ruining careers and life stories; we put the responsibility on women to stay safe; victims on college campuses are still not taken seriously when reporting rape; woman’s body parts are objectified and marketed to promote products as sex sells. Read this articles for examples of rape culture: http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/03/examples-of-rape-culture/

The language of a culture of rape is all around us. We’ve got a problem. And, as one author puts it, “we’re not teaching our sons not to rape.”  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rebecca-gallagher/we-have-a-problem-here_b_5882974.html   That’s where is starts, training a new generation of boys who grow into men who love, honor and respect women. I taught my son and, feel confident, he will pass this legacy on to his son. This is what we can do as mothers living in a culture of rape, we can teach our boys to honor girls and women by not practicing aggression and violence. What about you? What can you do to help change the current U.S. Culture of Rape to a Culture of Caring Respect for all.



Our Bodies-1 copyhttp://goddesspriestess.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/may-2014-054.jpg

“…so it has been: women’s power has declined as woman’s belly has been violated and shamed…5,000 years of patriarchal culture has degraded belly, body, woman, the sacred feminine, the soul, the feminine sensibility in both women and men, native peoples, and nature–all in a single process of devaluation. Because our belly is the bodily site of feminine sensibility, our patriarchal culture marks the belly as a target of assault, through rape, unnecessary hysterectomies and Cesarians [sic], reproductive technology, legal restrictions on women’s authority in pregnancy and childbirth, and belly-belittling fashions, exercise regimens, and diet schemes…a culture that literally hates women’s guts…” –Lisa Sarasohn, The Goddess Ungirdled

“Our bodies are vessels of the sacred, not the homes of sinful urges. Our bodies create and sustain the sacred. And that sacredness does not equate with any artificial notion of bodily perfection. All of us are fit habitations for the divine, no matter what the diet doctors, fitness gurus, health good fanatics, New Age healers, and the fashion police try to force on us. If we don’t take our bodies into account in our expression of [our religion], then it becomes a mere shadow of itself. When we are fully present in our bodies… becomes a three-dimensional, vibrant, fully fleshed-out expression of the divine…” –DeAnna Alba in How to Flesh Our Your Magick

Love Yourself as a sacred vessel, an expression of the divine. The giver of life. Rejoice in all the incredible gift of YOU. Love yourself wholly and completely.  Remember who you truly are as a divine creation. You are beauty and love itself. Celebrate you, celebrate life.



let’s not loose site of the real issue…the conscious decision to act predatorily…

I think in a prior post I may have said that only men rape and that may be true BUT THE MAJORITY OF MEN DO NOT RAPE… http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

and here’s what RAINN reports about the majority:

Men who do not rape but would be willing to rape if they were sure they would not be punished.
Men who do not rape but will not intervene when another man rapes.
Men who do not rape but buy sex with women who have been, or likely will be, raped in the context of being prostituted.
Men who do not rape but will watch films of women in situations that depict rape or rape-like acts.
Men who do not rape but find the idea of rape sexually arousing.
Men who do not rape but whose sexual arousal depends on feeling dominant and having power over a woman.
Men who do not rape but routinely masturbate to pornography in which women are presented as objectified bodies whose primary, or only, function is to provide sexual pleasure for men.
Those men are not rapists. But is that fact — that the men in these categories are not, in legal terms, guilty of rape — comforting? Are we advancing the cause of ending men’s violence against women by focusing only on the acts legally defined as rape— rape as an act of “forcible penetration” http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

— the research establishes that between 10.6 percent and 16.1 percent of American women have been raped. That means somewhere between 12 million and 18 million women in this country today live as rape victim-survivors, if we use a narrow definition of the crime.

THAT FACT IS STAGGERING> My beloved daughter, in whose memory I blog, was the victim of a predatory date rape drug (GHB)poisoning that induced her death within hours. The men who were responsible went free, un-prosecuted! My personal history includes being molested at age 5, 9, and 13, and raped at 16 and at 19 aided by a date rape drug. When I was 5 I didn’t tell anyone until I was almost 30 but even then the truth was ill received. I did not report the rapes. ..A rape culture doesn’t command men to rape, but it does make rape inviting, and it reduces the likelihood rapists will be identified, arrested, prosecuted, convicted and punished. http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

Why should we fear talking about the socialization process by which boys and men are trained to see themselves as powerful over women and to see women as sexual objects? THIS IS THE CONVERSATION I KEEP ASKING FOR. I’M NOT AFRAID TO ASK BECAUSE LADIES WE HAVE ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HOW MEN PERCEIVE WOMEN AND IT BEGINS WHEN THE MAN IS A BABY AND THEN A BOY THAT IS WHEN HE IS LEARNING ABOUT RELATIONS<
HIPS…ABOUT LOVE AND HONOR..I SPEAK FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF MY OWN SON WHO BURIED A SISTER AND HAS BEEN RAISED BY A SINGLE MOTHER…HE LOVES AND HONORS WOMEN…MY SON IS CHIVALROUS…HE IS KIND AND CARING ABOUT WOMEN….SO I KNOW IT'S POSSIBLE. RAISE BOYS WHO LOVE AND HONOR WOMEN.



The planet was always male dominated: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/04/17/324415/-The-Genocide-of-Matriarchal-Societies#

Patriarchy Society as a perspective…an idea…an hologram…Patriarchy is dominance by men over women…Violence in patriarchy is a must…http://www.second-congress-matriarchal-studies.com/werlhof.html

Opening our minds to a return to Matriarchal Societies…and the care of all life..

Demetra George. “Mysteries Of The Dark Moon.” P.28.
…the transition from matriarchal to patriarchal culture…occurred five millennia ago. Current researchers…working in the fields of theology, archaeology, art history, and mythology, are uncovering evidence that, starting around 300 BCE, there occurred a transition in the predominant religious and political structures that governed humanity. Matriarchal societies, which had worshiped goddesses of the earth and moon such as Innana, Ishtar, Isis, Demeter, and Artemis, gave way to patriarchal societies, which followed the solar gods and heroes such as Gilgamesh, Amen Ra, Zeus, Yahweh, and Apollo. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/04/17/324415/-The-Genocide-of-Matriarchal-Societies#

…the beginning of the Hebrew religion with its God Yahweh is said to have marked the end of the Goddess’ Golden Age. Approximately this was between 1800 – 1500 BC when the prophet Abraham lived in Canaan. http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/g/goddess_1_intro_and_history.html

…the reason for our current male-dominated society, as well as through the history of keeping women out of power religiously, politically, financially, and socially – is genocide. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/04/17/324415/-The-Genocide-of-Matriarchal-Societies

The Ancient Tao, Verse 28 Living Virtuously, states

Know the strength of man.
but keep a woman’s care!

…we have come to a stage of human evolution where we are trying to reach the higher realms of consciousness for creative and generative action…From the age of the “Leo Lion” which was dominated by the masculine principle we have reached the age of the “Aquarius” which is dominated by the feminine principle. The return of the feminine principle does not mean the ruthless domination of the world as that was seen during the masculine principle dominated era. It only means that we are getting closer to nature and we are looking at a balance being established between the feminine and the masculine principles of nature…In fact the time has come for the return of the feminine. http://www.rise-of-womanhood.org/ancient-matriarchy.html

Unlike the plight of women today…From the studies conducted on the existing matriarchal societies as well as those from history we can find that women had enjoyed dignified and prominent position in these societies. http://www.second-congress-matriarchal-studies.com/werlhof.html

The origin of the goddess cult would have begun with the early clans of Egypt which were matrilineal in nature and where the mother was the primary parent of her family. In these clans the family lineage was always traced through the feminine gender, going from the mother to daughter. It is believed that after many generations of such lineage, the oldest ancestors of the clan would have first been revered, then deified and finally mythologized into becoming a proto-goddess of the type of Nekhebt and Ua Zit. http://www.rise-of-womanhood.org/ancient-matriarchy.html

By c. 1570 BC, patriarchy was firmly entrenched in Egypt, and it was also during this time that there were no priestesses available in the temples, and the word pharaoh came to be applied solely to the king rather than the royal house. This drastic change in the social structure culminated in c. 1300 BC with the religious revolution of Akhnaton. http://www.rise-of-womanhood.org/ancient-matriarchy.html

Connect with your ancestral linage. You carry their DNA. Think of the woman you are simply because you exist. Access your divine feminine and raise your consciousness and care for all living things, beginning with yourself, as this is your legacy.



GHB (Gamma Hydroxybutyrate) blasted into my life on Easter Sunday 1999, leaving in its path an indelible stain on my heart. Its stain seeped into my life while speaking on the phone to a triage nurse in a hospital emergency room across the country who had attended to my daughter who had been brought to the hospital dead-on-arrival from GHB poisoning. This blog site i.e., The Skylar Lynn Ringland Date Rape Awareness Foundation, as you may have read, is written in honor of my daughter.

Since my daughter’s GHB induced death resulting from a predator spiking a drink she ingested, I have researched, analyzed, monitored, studied and written about the effects, implications and devastation of GHB as a phenomenon that is not limited by borders, race, religion, gender, or age (http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=5067). GHB is easily made and easily stored and transported. It can be made in anyone’s kitchen from ingredients found at any hardware store, or it can easily be obtained on the street from black market dealers. GHB is proliferous largely due to full-scale production efforts in China. Consequently, it is abundantly available despite legislative and legal efforts to curtail its use, manufacture and distribution. To many in the club and rave scene it is the preferred drug of choice eclipsing ecstasy. http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/ghb-aka-liquid-ecstasy

GHB is poison to the human body. It can and will induce death at random dosing levels. What may kill one may not kill another 100 (http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/ghb/ghb_effects.shtml). GHB dosing is like playing Russian Roulette. One never knows quite when the body will literally melt down and completely suppress the central nervous system(http://www.drugfree.org/drug-guide/ghb). It is odorless, tasteless, and undetectable when mixed with another beverage. If GHB is mixed with alcohol it has a synergistic effect that is often fatal. (http://dancesafe.org/drug-information/ghb It is portable and can be stored in small vials and containers making dispensing often undetectable to the human eye. It is a predator’s drug of choice rendering victims physically helpless and unconscious and with generally no memory of their predator.

What is it that makes human beings ignore all the counter indications of the poisonous, often fatal effects of GHB? Therein lies the enigma. What is a human being hoping to find or, perhaps, hoping to escape that it seeks pleasure in a deadly poisonous substance like GHB? The research indicates that primarily people use GHB for its relaxation properties. For those who self-dose, it begs the question, don’t human beings have abundant choices to induce relaxation without having to resort to poison. Does this choice indicate a lack of imagination? Does it indicate supercharged planet of people with sensory overload such that they will resort to poisons to calm frayed nerves to ease into social settings. Isn’t it like cutting off your head to cure a headache? Cutting off your foot to cure a hang nail? GHB represents an extreme.

GHB is a twentieth century phenomenon that has seeped its way into the twenty-first century. WE will not be free of GHB by declaring War on Drugs or War on GHB. We be will only be free of GHB and all other drugs when human beings raise their consciousness and become aware that at their core they are one creative being connected to the entire universe. Human beings are powerful and capable of achieving any state of consciousness including a calm, relaxed, peaceful self. Success is not about how much money is in your bank account, or how many toys, degrees, honors, etc., you can accumulate, how popular you are, etc. Success is how much peace you feel inside at any given moment. To be at peace is the goal of humankind. Today, try to resonate with the peace that is always available to you in any given moment. Journey inside and learn to sit quietly with your core peaceful self. Give yourself love today and every day. Remember that everything you need in life, you came with…it was a part of the package known as you. Believing that there is something out there that can make you more of anything is illusion! You are a perfect being. Be at peace.

NOTE: I will be publishing, first, on this blog, by the end of the year, Alchemy of A Shadow Dance 12 22 2013 – MASTERAlchemy of A Shadow Dance, a story about the tragic effects of GHB on one family.

effects of GHB on one family.



{November 28, 2013}   Thanksgiving Gratitude

What A Wonderful World. Thank you for following the Skylar Lynn Ringland Date Rape Awareness Blog. I am grateful for existence. Grateful for passing this way. Grateful for the dance of life. Grateful for all our sisters and brothers. I am grateful for women.  Grateful in this moment. So grateful to give thanks for everything. Give thanks for your existence.



{August 10, 2013}   Predators hunt vulnerbility

It’s Saturday night and you’ve had a few drinks and you’ve relaxed after a hectic week. Finally, the great looking guy you noticed early on walks up to you at your table and asks you to dance. You dance and feel a connection with him on the dance floor. He walks you back to your table and, politely ask if he can get you a drink. You’re amazed at his manners and demeanor. You say, yes and he’s off to the bar and returns with your drink, “Cheers,” he says and hands you the drink.

Scratch that, this isn’t at all how that scene should go. If your going to let a guy you’ve only known the length of one dance, buy you a drink then walk with him to the bar. That way you circumvent any opportunity for someone to spike your drink with a drug. Never drink from a drink you’ve abandoned while on the dance floor. It’s the difference between waking up in a stranger’s bed not remembering how you got there or where your clothes are and, waking up safe in your own bed. Be your best advocate and protector because predators are like hunters and they’re watching and waiting for the scent of vulnerability, commonly evident among women and children. http://ezinearticles.com/?Beware-of-Date-Rape-Drugs,-AKA-Predator-Drugs&id=2879329

Don’t be victimized, be a warrior. The warrior is an empowered person with a definite sense of self hood. Warriors know who they are…they have inner strength and resilience. They are able to fight the good fight. But, when I think of a warrior, I am reminded of my beloved daughter, whose honor I blog in. She was a warrior. But, a predator found the exact moment she was vulnerable and, he struck. That’s what is so confusing, how did it happen to her? Vulnerability. She was alone at her boyfriend’s (singer, Abstract Rude) music studio. It is reported she was there approximately 50 minutes before she convulsed and went unconscious. He didn’t call 911. At the time, the DA didn’t factor in that it only takes 10-20 minutes for a person to react depending on the dose. Abstract and his band members told the police in their statements that my daughter come to the studio already having ingested GHB. But, they report the convulsion began close to 45-50 minutes after she arrived. What is clear by their own accounts, is she was poisoned at the studio. But, her case remains a cold case.

Now, I am fighting the good fight for my daughter because she didn’t survive the massive dose of GHB that someone spiked her drink with in the predawn hours of a Saturday night. She believed she was among friends, she trusted her friends, and, on that particular night her trust proved a vulnerability. And, that’s the sad business of predators and date rape drugs they don’t discriminate. It could be a stranger…a friend…a brother…an uncle…a cousin’s friend…a colleague…a handsome guy you met at the bar. Any of them could be a predator. It’s not always a stranger. In fact, statistics indicate it is usually someone you know. You get the picture. Predators abound in every disguise imaginable. And, the favor woman and children. Why do you think? Because woman and children are notoriously vulnerable.

Vulnerability is our shared humanity. I think of it as the innocence of a child but it may also be attributable to ignorance, or limited awareness. Try not to be too distracted that you forget your precious vulnerability. Protect it as you would a child for it is the innocent child within you.



Date rape drugs predators’ drug of choice as they render the victim incapcitated. It is best to be aware that even the most seemingly innocent situations may result in compromising your safety. I think the best rule is to never go out alone but if you are out with a friend, never accept a drink unless you saw it being poured, and you never left the drink unattended. Be aware of your situation, and the people you call your friends. How well do you know them? In Denver, recently, date rape drugs were unknowingly adminsitered to women at clubs near the University of Denver. http://kdvr.com/2013/05/17/police-issue-warning-after-women-given-date-rape-drugs-near-du/

If you feel vulnerable about your situation, or you have been victimized by date-rape drugs, or you know someone who had a close call with date rape drugs, please share your story.

It is our shared experience that brings awareness and light to the subject. As women, and sisters, and we need to make every effort to strengthen our bonds so that we are always vigilent not only about our own safety but for the safety of other women, and children. It is our shared experiences that unites us and helps us to grow and expand into warriors.



et cetera