Women's Awareness Blog











{January 11, 2015}   You are more than a body…

If you surf the Internet, watch cable T.V., follow fashion trends, its everywhere…SEX is everywhere…

Music videos, movies, reality shows, beer ads, online porn, prostitutes in video games, sexy doctor shows. Sex is everywhere. And studies show that the more sexual content kids watch and listen to, the earlier they’re likely to have sex themselves. In fact, teens report that their main source of information about sex, dating and sexual health comes from what they see and hear in the media. http://www.greatschools.org/students/media-kids/510-sexual-behavior-teens-learn-from-media.gs

young girls are defining sexuality based on the Kardasians, Beonce, Lady Gaga, Nikki Menage, Miley Cyrus…nothing is off limits…it all comes off…porn has become mainstream…the exploitation of the sacred female body.,,,by women…a woman with a battery charger in her vagina…. Chelsey likes to bare her breast. Lady Gaga’s reveals all…she pulls the rug out on what’s safe…a dress made of red meat…the Kardasians worship the butt…  What is happening here?

Objectification of women flows out of a culture that accepts its children define sexuality largely by the media messaging, and by a culture that coexists with perpetual exploitation of women…from cradle to grave.

How do we protect young girls from the influences of the media and ensure against exploitive brainwashing.defining women by body parts and sexuality.

How do we shift cultural norms and attitudes rooted in ignorance toward women as sexual objects?

You’re more than your body…you’re an infinite field of possibility. Love to hear your voice. Let’s know what you think…or dream…



When I talk about a culture of rape, I’m talking about the way a society collectively thinks, ignores, trivializes, normalizes or makes into jokes sexual assault, rape and violence against women. In America rape, assault and violence against women is reported in the news every day; pop music blast lyrics that blur the lines of consent; sexy apparel is designed for a younger and younger market; athletics, musicians, politicians, and actors who rape are supported and the victims blamed for ruining careers and life stories; we put the responsibility on women to stay safe; victims on college campuses are still not taken seriously when reporting rape; woman’s body parts are objectified and marketed to promote products as sex sells. Read this articles for examples of rape culture: http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/03/examples-of-rape-culture/

The language of a culture of rape is all around us. We’ve got a problem. And, as one author puts it, “we’re not teaching our sons not to rape.”  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rebecca-gallagher/we-have-a-problem-here_b_5882974.html   That’s where is starts, training a new generation of boys who grow into men who love, honor and respect women. I taught my son and, feel confident, he will pass this legacy on to his son. This is what we can do as mothers living in a culture of rape, we can teach our boys to honor girls and women by not practicing aggression and violence. What about you? What can you do to help change the current U.S. Culture of Rape to a Culture of Caring Respect for all.



Our Bodies-1 copyhttp://goddesspriestess.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/may-2014-054.jpg

“…so it has been: women’s power has declined as woman’s belly has been violated and shamed…5,000 years of patriarchal culture has degraded belly, body, woman, the sacred feminine, the soul, the feminine sensibility in both women and men, native peoples, and nature–all in a single process of devaluation. Because our belly is the bodily site of feminine sensibility, our patriarchal culture marks the belly as a target of assault, through rape, unnecessary hysterectomies and Cesarians [sic], reproductive technology, legal restrictions on women’s authority in pregnancy and childbirth, and belly-belittling fashions, exercise regimens, and diet schemes…a culture that literally hates women’s guts…” –Lisa Sarasohn, The Goddess Ungirdled

“Our bodies are vessels of the sacred, not the homes of sinful urges. Our bodies create and sustain the sacred. And that sacredness does not equate with any artificial notion of bodily perfection. All of us are fit habitations for the divine, no matter what the diet doctors, fitness gurus, health good fanatics, New Age healers, and the fashion police try to force on us. If we don’t take our bodies into account in our expression of [our religion], then it becomes a mere shadow of itself. When we are fully present in our bodies… becomes a three-dimensional, vibrant, fully fleshed-out expression of the divine…” –DeAnna Alba in How to Flesh Our Your Magick

Love Yourself as a sacred vessel, an expression of the divine. The giver of life. Rejoice in all the incredible gift of YOU. Love yourself wholly and completely.  Remember who you truly are as a divine creation. You are beauty and love itself. Celebrate you, celebrate life.



The Most Culturally Destructive Mandate in Our Culture: Be A Man! Stop with tears…stop with the sissy stuff…BE A MAN… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVI1Xutc_Ws

Tony Porter’s CALL TO MEN…redefining what it means to be a man, the “Man Box…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80

The Code of being a guy (Bill Pozzobon) From birth we are defined by gender…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDpuJXgD7Rs

Dr.Ryan McKelly, Unmasking Masculinity…The Importance of Social Connection. Anger masking vulnerability…: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBdnjqEoiXA



TREATS TO RELEASE NUDE PHOTOS OF EMMA WATSON AFTER HER INCREDIBLY INSPIRING SPEACH ABOUT GENDER EQUALITY TO THE UNITED NATIONS

The Internet reports that Watson had died, to “a long history of this sort of bullying aimed at women on …the Internet, especially feminists.” http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/23/showbiz/celebrity-news-gossip/emma-watson-speech-nude-photos-threat/index.html?hpt=hp_t4
“It’s just the latest in a long history of online efforts to intimidate, belittle, threaten and cow women into hiding and shutting up — the message, of course, being, if you dare to do or say something we don’t like, we’ll expose you in return,” McDonald wrote.
Watson’s speech, delivered Saturday as part of her role as a goodwill ambassador for U.N. Women, drew attention for her poignant remarks about the need for equality and for men to embrace feminism.
“If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted, women won’t feel compelled to be submissive,” she said. “If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled. Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. … It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum, not as two opposing sets of ideals.”
Opinion: Emma Watson gives feminism new life http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/23/showbiz/celebrity-news-gossip/emma-watson-speech-nude-photos-threat/index.html?hpt=hp_t4

WOMAN BLAMED FOR HER OWN RAPE: http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/24/justice/woman-blamed-for-her-rape/index.html?iref=allsearch

LOVE EACH OTHER ALWAYS TRAVEL IN PAIRS AND MAKE SELF DEFENSE A PRIORITY.



Sexual Predator Warning Signs

Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board and Dr. Phil’s mentor, offers some insight into the development of a sexual predator:

“The typical sexual predator is very immature in his or her understanding of intimacy. It is like they really want closeness, but they lack the skills to feel satisfaction and trust. These feelings of frustration erupt into anger many times, and it is in this stage that the individual can become dangerous. Their acts are desperate. They try to find intimacy and caring for themselves, but when they can’t find it in appropriate ways, they demand it or find a child who has little resistance,” says Dr. Lawlis. “It is common to find parents of sexual predators also weak in skills of affection. Consequently, they cannot train or offer to meet these needs for their child. And then the cycle continues.”

There are some common characteristics of sexual predators. If you’re worried your teen may be a sexual predator, look for these warning signs:

Refusal to take responsibility for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures
A sense of entitlement
Low self-esteem
Need for power and control
Lack of empathy
Inability to form intimate relationships with adults
History of abuse
Troubled childhood
Deviant sexual behavior and attitudes

From the book, Protecting Your Children from Sexual Predators, by Dr. Leigh M. Baker.

Other Tips on Spotting a Sexual Predator:
Often offend where they won’t get caught — when they have misdirected people’s attention
Often married or in relationships
Offend when the victim is handy
Not always strangers, often family members, family friends and neighbors
Most attracted to adults
Good manipulators (seduction is an integral part)
Overly self-indulgent
Arrogant
Sexualize, objectify women
Users of various kinds of pornography
Typically known as rationalizers, intellectualizers, justifiers
Great helpers — are there to lend a helping hand — prey on people in need, when they can insinuate themselves in your life
Use stressful and vulnerable situations to get in — they find a need they can fill and they use that to get next to the victim
Common Attributes of Child Molesters:
— from A Profile of the Child Molester
Pedophiles are notoriously friendly, nice, kind, engaging and likeable.
Pedophiles target their victims, often insinuating themselves into that child’s life through their family, school, house of worship, sports, and hobbies.
Pedophiles are professional con artists and are experts at getting children and families to trust them.
Pedophiles will smile at you, look you right in the eye and make you believe they are trustworthy.
Dr. Phil reminds parents they must watch everyone in their child’s life!

Sexual Predator Warning Signs

Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board and Dr. Phil’s mentor, offers some insight into the development of a sexual predator:

“The typical sexual predator is very immature in his or her understanding of intimacy. It is like they really want closeness, but they lack the skills to feel satisfaction and trust. These feelings of frustration erupt into anger many times, and it is in this stage that the individual can become dangerous. Their acts are desperate. They try to find intimacy and caring for themselves, but when they can’t find it in appropriate ways, they demand it or find a child who has little resistance,” says Dr. Lawlis. “It is common to find parents of sexual predators also weak in skills of affection. Consequently, they cannot train or offer to meet these needs for their child. And then the cycle continues.”

There are some common characteristics of sexual predators. If you’re worried your teen may be a sexual predator, look for these warning signs:

Refusal to take responsibility for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures
A sense of entitlement
Low self-esteem
Need for power and control
Lack of empathy
Inability to form intimate relationships with adults
History of abuse
Troubled childhood
Deviant sexual behavior and attitudes

From the book, Protecting Your Children from Sexual Predators, by Dr. Leigh M. Baker.

Other Tips on Spotting a Sexual Predator:
Often offend where they won’t get caught — when they have misdirected people’s attention
Often married or in relationships
Offend when the victim is handy
Not always strangers, often family members, family friends and neighbors
Most attracted to adults
Good manipulators (seduction is an integral part)
Overly self-indulgent
Arrogant
Sexualize, objectify women
Users of various kinds of pornography
Typically known as rationalizers, intellectualizers, justifiers
Great helpers — are there to lend a helping hand — prey on people in need, when they can insinuate themselves in your life
Use stressful and vulnerable situations to get in — they find a need they can fill and they use that to get next to the victim
Common Attributes of Child Molesters:
— from A Profile of the Child Molester
Pedophiles are notoriously friendly, nice, kind, engaging and likeable.
Pedophiles target their victims, often insinuating themselves into that child’s life through their family, school, house of worship, sports, and hobbies.
Pedophiles are professional con artists and are experts at getting children and families to trust them.
Pedophiles will smile at you, look you right in the eye and make you believe they are trustworthy.
Dr. Phil reminds parents they must watch everyone in their child’s life!

PROFILE OF ONLINE PREDATOR ~ IT CAN BE ALMOST ANYBODY YOU KNOW AND MOST OFTEN IS A WELL RESPECTED MEMBER OF THE COMMUNITY…THEY CAME FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE…PREDATORS COME FROM ALL RACES, AGES AND SOCIO-ECONOMIC SITUATIONS…: http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-632111.pdf

STAY AWARE.



It has been fifteen years since my daughter was poisoned with GHB at a music studio and the incidents of GHB and date rape drugs to victimize and commit violence against women continues under the blind eye of a nation too tolerant to eradicate the behavior.

Fraternity Parties & Date-rape-druggings: http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/20/us/date-rape-drug-probe/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Obama Takes Is a strong advocate for Women in his position that Violence Against Women is Unacceptable sending a message that our society doesn’t VALUE or RESPECT women: http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2014/09/19/bts-wh-obama-campus-sexual-assault.cnn&hpt=hp_t1&from_homepage=yes&video_referrer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F Obama ask MEN to set an example to Reject the QUIET TOLERANCE of VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. AWESOME!

When it gets right down to it there are only two emotions for men and women: LOVE and FEAR. All negativity flows from fear like aggression, assault, anger, hate, jealousy, envy, etc. Bringing negative energy and negative karma into the world. It’s a choice! Choose LOVE for all those whose lives are compromised or ended, daily, because of fear and drugs. Be Aware. Always take your BF with you. Never leave a drink unattended. Stay AWARE of your surroundings.

P.S. Still deeply involved in a deep edit of my manuscript, Shadow Dance, written in memory of my daughter, and soon to be posted and published.



let’s not loose site of the real issue…the conscious decision to act predatorily…

I think in a prior post I may have said that only men rape and that may be true BUT THE MAJORITY OF MEN DO NOT RAPE… http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

and here’s what RAINN reports about the majority:

Men who do not rape but would be willing to rape if they were sure they would not be punished.
Men who do not rape but will not intervene when another man rapes.
Men who do not rape but buy sex with women who have been, or likely will be, raped in the context of being prostituted.
Men who do not rape but will watch films of women in situations that depict rape or rape-like acts.
Men who do not rape but find the idea of rape sexually arousing.
Men who do not rape but whose sexual arousal depends on feeling dominant and having power over a woman.
Men who do not rape but routinely masturbate to pornography in which women are presented as objectified bodies whose primary, or only, function is to provide sexual pleasure for men.
Those men are not rapists. But is that fact — that the men in these categories are not, in legal terms, guilty of rape — comforting? Are we advancing the cause of ending men’s violence against women by focusing only on the acts legally defined as rape— rape as an act of “forcible penetration” http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

— the research establishes that between 10.6 percent and 16.1 percent of American women have been raped. That means somewhere between 12 million and 18 million women in this country today live as rape victim-survivors, if we use a narrow definition of the crime.

THAT FACT IS STAGGERING> My beloved daughter, in whose memory I blog, was the victim of a predatory date rape drug (GHB)poisoning that induced her death within hours. The men who were responsible went free, un-prosecuted! My personal history includes being molested at age 5, 9, and 13, and raped at 16 and at 19 aided by a date rape drug. When I was 5 I didn’t tell anyone until I was almost 30 but even then the truth was ill received. I did not report the rapes. ..A rape culture doesn’t command men to rape, but it does make rape inviting, and it reduces the likelihood rapists will be identified, arrested, prosecuted, convicted and punished. http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

Why should we fear talking about the socialization process by which boys and men are trained to see themselves as powerful over women and to see women as sexual objects? THIS IS THE CONVERSATION I KEEP ASKING FOR. I’M NOT AFRAID TO ASK BECAUSE LADIES WE HAVE ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HOW MEN PERCEIVE WOMEN AND IT BEGINS WHEN THE MAN IS A BABY AND THEN A BOY THAT IS WHEN HE IS LEARNING ABOUT RELATIONS<
HIPS…ABOUT LOVE AND HONOR..I SPEAK FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF MY OWN SON WHO BURIED A SISTER AND HAS BEEN RAISED BY A SINGLE MOTHER…HE LOVES AND HONORS WOMEN…MY SON IS CHIVALROUS…HE IS KIND AND CARING ABOUT WOMEN….SO I KNOW IT'S POSSIBLE. RAISE BOYS WHO LOVE AND HONOR WOMEN.



As many of you know, I have been writing a novel, SHADOW DANCE by Cat Lynn BoyleShadow Dance, based on a GHB poisoning in 1999 that took my daughter’s life.

The title of the novel has been edited from Alchemy of A Shadow Dance to “Shadow Dance,” and it will soon be linked here so you may read my story. Shadow Dance has had its first edit but I anticipate more intensive editing before I can submit the story to publishers. I look forward to your comments once I post it here.



As promised, I hope to publish my manuscript, SHADOW DANCE, a manuscript that I (Cat Lynn Boyle) have written in memory of my beloved daughter Skylar Lynn Ringland, for whom this Blog honors.

Shadow Dance is fiction but it is based on the events that occurred to my daughter in 1999, only certain facts and names have been changed. Shadow Dance is about stories within stories as read from a journal or told from different perspectives. The story is about change and begins by introducing a beautiful, bright young girl who is murdered after ingesting a drink spiked with a fatal dose of GHB. Part II tells the story of loss and confusion that transforms a family as they struggle to make sense of the tragedy and strive for illusive justice. Part III, unlike real life, brings the GHB predators to trial and, although through other means, ultimately, justice is achieved. Shadow Dance is a story of change and transformation; of life and death; of love and hate; of despair and grace; of bravery and cowardice; of darkness and light; of wholeness and brokenness; of truth and deception; of destruction and resurrection; of murder and revenge. I hope you enjoy reading it and I look forward to your comments. Thank you for following the Skylar Lynn Ringland Date Rape Awareness Blog written for you. The very best is intended for you in the new year. May we all experience love, grace, peace and prosperity. Happy New Year!



et cetera