Women's Awareness Blog











{June 3, 2016}   Katie Koestner

Bringing her story of date rape to the world, Katie Koestner (http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-36434191), kept her story alive. We know it can happen to any girl or woman. It can happen if your female. Thank you Katie Koestler for awareness you have provided by telling your story until people listened. Thank you. I know there are many of you out there that have a story too. Let us hear your voice. Join the conversation.

Please, help keep my daughter, Skylar’s story alive. Its a story about how a young 22 year old girl can innocently or unknowingly open doors and hearts to predators in their midst. I have written a novel, called Sophie’s Shadow. (previously written as SHADOWDANCE by Cat Lynn Boyle as of 2016 03 20by Cat Lynn Boyle as of 2016 03 20) It tells my daughter’s story. It’s about what happened to her one dawn when her boyfriend invited her after hours to his studio. Seven hours laters, she died in his arms after ingesting a drink laced with the date rape drug, GHB. Skylar’s case is a cold case, and, what her case needs is the attention Katie Koestler is able to incite around her experience with date rape. Katie Koestner is the hero, I’m not. If any of you reading this blog have ideas about how to build momentum around Skylar’s story, please reply with your ideas. And, Katie, if you read my blog, I’d really enjoy hearing more of your story. Thank you for following.

 



As many of you, who have followed my blog in the past, know, I’ve been distracted by the intensive work of editing a novel, Shadow Dance, which is written in memory of my beloved daughter, who died as a result of a GHB poisoning, and, for whom this site is in memoriam. I am so thrilled to inform you that the work of editing is paying off. Shadow Dance has received literary mention, by the William Faulkner Literary Awards for 2015 Best Novel Honorable Mention!

It will not be long before Shadow Dance will be available in bookstores, as well as if you place a request here for a free copy once published in gratitude for following and supporting raising awareness of violence against women.

WFLA 2015 Best Novel Honorable Mention Shadow Dance Cat Lynn Boyle

FOLLOW HERE AND CLICK ON “SHADOW DANCE” to read a copy.

http://williamfaulknerliterarycompetition.com/2015-winners/



How quickly our lives can twist in literally seconds into an unrecognizable existence. In the morning your a wife and mother and then its all taken from you. A Florida woman in the linked article [http://www.essence.com/2015/03/04/marissa-alexander-exclusive/] runs from her husband, who has a history of abused her, and previous wives, but, in a heated moment she gets a gun to protect herself and fires a warning shot into the kitchen wall. Her husband runs and calls 911reporting his wife just fired at him and his kids but the kids weren’t in the house. At her trial she is convicted of felony assault and sentenced to 20 years even though Florida is a “Stand Your Ground” defense state BUT CLEARLY the law does not apply to women against their husband. Why is that? Discrimination against women is systemic and persistent. Why does gender play a role in one’s ability to receive equal justice?



{February 14, 2015}   What kind gun for a woman?

Sadly, the myth that women are somehow less able or too weak to shoot a powerful handgun exists; it exists in gun stores, on the web or anywhere a woman might go to purchase a firearm or perhaps even within her family or social circles…http://thewellarmedwoman.com/what-kind-of-a-gun-for-a-woman

So, here is a truth if you want to stop a rapist carry a gun. Its a simple truth. It’s the responsible thing to do. The experts say It will end rape. According to self-defense expert Paxton Quigley handguns play an important role in society: they stop rape. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/07/25/do-u-s-women-need-guns-self-defense-expert-paxton-quigley-says-yes.html

A Well Armed Woman: survival stories

These stories are gripping and, only the tip of the iceberg ( http://thewellarmedwoman.com/women-and-guns/survival-stories) You need some kind of self defense training whether it’s a gun or martial arts or another type self-defense is a wise choice.

…the gun and its mythology is the ultimate form of violent masculinity…Women can also be a part of this social acceptance of firearms, as they can be seen as being tools for protection. ” http://www.wilpfinternational.org/guns-and-gender-based-violence/



Husband’s fantasy…let see..buy GHB and hire a predator to sexually assault his wife: http://wtvr.com/2015/02/09/police-husband-purchased-ghb-to-drug-sexually-assault-wife/  It must be the water.

I watch a program the other night called the Pyramid Code that offered proofs that experts from all the sciences are meeting to attempt to re-date history as much has been tossed, suppressed, plundered, destroyed, or discovered much later dissolving older theories while new ones emerged (Newton v. Einstein.) Ever hear your expectations affect the outcome of your experiment. Nevertheless, these scientist claimed mankind is just coming out of its’ lowest spiritual connection since the Golden Age 40,000 years ago, which these experts report is a more accurate dating of the earliest matriarchal Egyptian dynasties. Point being the shift hasn’t happened yet our society is pretty depraved. Don’t take my word, listen to the media, the music, the cable, the advertisements, your friends, co-workers, by standers…It doesn’t matter it’s everywhere. Look around there’re a lot of deprave people who look at women like prey or objects and can easily buy GHB and wait until you’re most vulnerable.

Wake up. Look around. Know the landscape. Predators are waiting, watching, Let’s hope, the whole planet wakes up and raises their awareness of the need to learns to live in peace and love and respect all life. If you have a husband, let’s hope he’s got your back, otherwise he’s not worth it like the guy in the video above. What’s he thinking? Any guesses? Be aware take self-defense classes.

Awareness is key. You are the miracle you seek.



The unspoken rule of femininity:  you’re always supposed to be sexy, but you’re not supposed to be slutty. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/05/i-am-not-a-slut-leora-tanenbaum_n_6623114.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

Do you believe female sexuality is policed? Are there two standards when it comes to sexuality?

Words connote cultural double standard: …”slut” means a woman who is disgusting, shameful and out of control sexually….[yet] [m]en are expected, even encouraged, to be sexually active — even in an uncontrolled manner — while women are expected to be minimally sexual.

Did you know…The very first usage of the term “Slut” is from 1386 from Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales.” It appears as a noun, “sluttish,” and refers to a man who is dressed in dirty and untidy clothes. Over time, “sluttish” became a noun, “slut,” and eventually it was used exclusively to refer to women — always a slovenly white woman from the poor or working class. From the very beginning, you can see the intersection of race, class and gender in the usage of the word “slut.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/05/i-am-not-a-slut-leora-tanenbaum_n_6623114.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

“Well, that girl deserves to be called a slut, because she chose to do something wrong.” It’s that mentality that always dovetails with the mainstream response to sexual assault. When woman comes forward and says, “I was sexually assaulted,” the default mainstream response is to accuse her of exerting agency [dressed slutty, intoxication, etc.] to provoke the assault….THE PRESSURE on women….It’s god damn exhausting!

You don’t wanna be a prude and you don’t wanna be a slut. It’s really impossible….evaluated and judged through a sexual prism no matter what… Either women are not sexual enough or women are too sexual.

There’s really no way to win. .. because so many adults are judgmental about the way young women present themselves in public. They just don’t understand how these young women have to walk on this razor-thin tightrope to not be a prude, not be a slut, be sexy but just the right amount, not show that they’re exerting any effort — you just woke up looking sexy in this very understated way.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/05/i-am-not-a-slut-leora-tanenbaum_n_6623114.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

Avoid the pitfalls of labels, criticism, comparisons, and judgments by becoming independent of the need to compare yourself and fit in. Release the need to be more anything in the eyes of others. Eliminate competition in your life and retreat into quiet strength. Seek awareness.



“The one thing a violent rapist deserves is to face is a good woman with a gun!” That was Wayne LaPierre, executive director of the National Rifle Association, the standard bearers for America’s gun lobby, making the case that personal firearms prevent rape.” http://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2013/mar/25/guns-protection-national-rifle-association WHAT DO YOU THINK. If you were about to be raped how would you feel if you had your gun to pull? Empowered? What’s your take?

According to National Sporting Goods Association, female participation in target shooting grew by 46.5 percent between 2001 and 2010, to 4.89 million shooters. The National Rifle Association reports an increase in female participants in classes and events by as much as 20 percent…http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/07/girls-with-guns-how-arming-more-women-could-change-america/260421/  It make sense that women are showing up. Why go to the slaughter unarmed. Men will think twice when it becomes a fact that women are armed for protection.

About half (48%) of gun owners said the main reason they owned a gun was for protection, according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in February 2013. About three-in-ten (32%) said they owned a gun for hunting. That was a turnaround from 1999 when 49% said they owned a gun for hunting and 26% said they had a gun for protection in an ABC News/Washington Post poll… http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/04/24/5-facts-about-the-nra-and-guns-in-america/  The statistics don’t lie. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes.  http://www.lifeafterdatingapsycho.com/blog/dating-violence-statistics-and-definitions

Make it your personal goal to take some form of self-defense classes in 2015.



But closed circuit T.V.s told the true story of what happened that night: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/27/vanderbilt-rape-guilty_n_6558710.html



{January 22, 2015}   21st century: eroticizing bondage

There is now far greater tolerance of sexual experimentation than two generations ago.

All too many members of society sit uneasily with the notion that when it comes to sex, “anything goes.” The extreme levels of narcissism are increasingly matched by the practice of sex without attachment. Sexual mores no longer seem be keeping up with the unprecedented advances in communication. The rapid decay of any sexual boundary in the 21st century disturbs both editors and readers. They see pornography with its often brutalizing images as dehumanizing the pleasurable vistas of sex. http://yoricksblog.com/2013/12/17/30-21st-century-sexual-mores/

So where is sex going?

Poorly written [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/12/28/50-shades-of-grey-is-the-subject-of-a-course-at-american-university.html] English paperback, Fifty Shades of Grey mainstreams bondage eroticizing dominance and submission. Isn’t it true Rape is about control…submission and dominance.  Sensationalizing bondage feeds the beast that rapes. A Rape Culture is systemic. EL James , fortyish TV executive and mother of two is a product of Rape Culture. http://articles.latimes.com/2012/apr/17/entertainment/la-et-fifty-shades-of-grey-20120417  http://www.snarksquad.com/category/books-2/fifty-shades/fifty-shades-of-grey

Already, the hint of release of the movie version of the book in February increased sales at sex shops. Ever notice whatever the media decides to focus on and sensationalize,  affects sales and profits & losses. It’s all a means to an end: bottom lines and profits. What sells? Sex sells, exploitive sex…even poorly written unrealistic fluff sells if it’s erotic like a novel eroticizing bondage. But, what about the fallout from a Rape Culture? The fallout affecting innocent ones. But, the world is not iffy shades of grey its light.

Break free of media portrayals defining women or womanhood.



If you’re going out to celebrate New Year’s be sure to take your best friends and stay aware of your circumstances, predators lurk. They watch for lonely drunk girls they can isolate. Know the source of your drink and examine its location at all times. Be discerning. Predators hunt for prey.

According to one author…a recent study showed that most men who hit on women in bars aren’t intoxicated. And they’re more likely to target women the more drunk the women are. It’s not about sex, or sloppy mistakes. It’s about men who see drunk women as easy prey. http://feminismformyfather.com/2014/06/23/on-predators-at-the-bar/

If you don’t have friends or relatives to go out and celebrate with, make your own party at home and be grateful for the wisdom in staying safe at home with the remote and a bag of chips.

Have A Happy New Year!



et cetera