Women's Awareness Blog











{January 22, 2015}   21st century: eroticizing bondage

There is now far greater tolerance of sexual experimentation than two generations ago.

All too many members of society sit uneasily with the notion that when it comes to sex, “anything goes.” The extreme levels of narcissism are increasingly matched by the practice of sex without attachment. Sexual mores no longer seem be keeping up with the unprecedented advances in communication. The rapid decay of any sexual boundary in the 21st century disturbs both editors and readers. They see pornography with its often brutalizing images as dehumanizing the pleasurable vistas of sex. http://yoricksblog.com/2013/12/17/30-21st-century-sexual-mores/

So where is sex going?

Poorly written [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/12/28/50-shades-of-grey-is-the-subject-of-a-course-at-american-university.html] English paperback, Fifty Shades of Grey mainstreams bondage eroticizing dominance and submission. Isn’t it true Rape is about control…submission and dominance.  Sensationalizing bondage feeds the beast that rapes. A Rape Culture is systemic. EL James , fortyish TV executive and mother of two is a product of Rape Culture. http://articles.latimes.com/2012/apr/17/entertainment/la-et-fifty-shades-of-grey-20120417  http://www.snarksquad.com/category/books-2/fifty-shades/fifty-shades-of-grey

Already, the hint of release of the movie version of the book in February increased sales at sex shops. Ever notice whatever the media decides to focus on and sensationalize,  affects sales and profits & losses. It’s all a means to an end: bottom lines and profits. What sells? Sex sells, exploitive sex…even poorly written unrealistic fluff sells if it’s erotic like a novel eroticizing bondage. But, what about the fallout from a Rape Culture? The fallout affecting innocent ones. But, the world is not iffy shades of grey its light.

Break free of media portrayals defining women or womanhood.

Advertisements


The quote by Lakshmi Puri, Assistant Secretary-General of the U.N. and Deputy Executive Director of U.N. Women, marks the anniversary of the International Day for the elimination of violence against women (November 25 through Dec. 10 Human Rights Day.) 16 Days of Activism are meant to raise global awareness of the violence endured by women and girls around the world, Puri explains.

Paradigm Shift ~ Men need to be a part of the conversation: Gender Violence is a MEN’s issue. Men hear Women’s issue or gender issue, and they tune out. Our entire cognitive structure is set up to ask questions about woman..what their doing (behavior) or thinking…why does she continue to date that guy, why does she keep going back to him, why does she dress like that.

BUT, let’s shift that paradigm and start asking the questions in terms of men: Why do so many men rape women? Why do men rape men? What about all those boys who have been traumatized by male violence? It seems obvious when spoken out loud. We need more men who have the courage to stand up and start asking the right questions. The by-stander approach instead of seeing women as victims and men as perpetrators…see anyone who is not a victim or perpetrators…and ask…how do we not remain silent.

We have to find men–adult men with power–who are not abusive to stand up and interpret the behavior (violence against women). WATCH: http://www.ted.com/talks/jackson_katz_violence_against_women_it_s_a_men_s_issue?language=en

Caring deeply is not enough we need men with power to take a stand for Women’s human rights.

“…There is one universal truth, applicable to all countries, cultures and communities: violence against women is never acceptable, never excusable, never tolerable.”
UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon



It has been fifteen years since my daughter was poisoned with GHB at a music studio and the incidents of GHB and date rape drugs to victimize and commit violence against women continues under the blind eye of a nation too tolerant to eradicate the behavior.

Fraternity Parties & Date-rape-druggings: http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/20/us/date-rape-drug-probe/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Obama Takes Is a strong advocate for Women in his position that Violence Against Women is Unacceptable sending a message that our society doesn’t VALUE or RESPECT women: http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2014/09/19/bts-wh-obama-campus-sexual-assault.cnn&hpt=hp_t1&from_homepage=yes&video_referrer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F Obama ask MEN to set an example to Reject the QUIET TOLERANCE of VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. AWESOME!

When it gets right down to it there are only two emotions for men and women: LOVE and FEAR. All negativity flows from fear like aggression, assault, anger, hate, jealousy, envy, etc. Bringing negative energy and negative karma into the world. It’s a choice! Choose LOVE for all those whose lives are compromised or ended, daily, because of fear and drugs. Be Aware. Always take your BF with you. Never leave a drink unattended. Stay AWARE of your surroundings.

P.S. Still deeply involved in a deep edit of my manuscript, Shadow Dance, written in memory of my daughter, and soon to be posted and published.



let’s not loose site of the real issue…the conscious decision to act predatorily…

I think in a prior post I may have said that only men rape and that may be true BUT THE MAJORITY OF MEN DO NOT RAPE… http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

and here’s what RAINN reports about the majority:

Men who do not rape but would be willing to rape if they were sure they would not be punished.
Men who do not rape but will not intervene when another man rapes.
Men who do not rape but buy sex with women who have been, or likely will be, raped in the context of being prostituted.
Men who do not rape but will watch films of women in situations that depict rape or rape-like acts.
Men who do not rape but find the idea of rape sexually arousing.
Men who do not rape but whose sexual arousal depends on feeling dominant and having power over a woman.
Men who do not rape but routinely masturbate to pornography in which women are presented as objectified bodies whose primary, or only, function is to provide sexual pleasure for men.
Those men are not rapists. But is that fact — that the men in these categories are not, in legal terms, guilty of rape — comforting? Are we advancing the cause of ending men’s violence against women by focusing only on the acts legally defined as rape— rape as an act of “forcible penetration” http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

— the research establishes that between 10.6 percent and 16.1 percent of American women have been raped. That means somewhere between 12 million and 18 million women in this country today live as rape victim-survivors, if we use a narrow definition of the crime.

THAT FACT IS STAGGERING> My beloved daughter, in whose memory I blog, was the victim of a predatory date rape drug (GHB)poisoning that induced her death within hours. The men who were responsible went free, un-prosecuted! My personal history includes being molested at age 5, 9, and 13, and raped at 16 and at 19 aided by a date rape drug. When I was 5 I didn’t tell anyone until I was almost 30 but even then the truth was ill received. I did not report the rapes. ..A rape culture doesn’t command men to rape, but it does make rape inviting, and it reduces the likelihood rapists will be identified, arrested, prosecuted, convicted and punished. http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/rape-rape-culture-problem-patriarchy/

Why should we fear talking about the socialization process by which boys and men are trained to see themselves as powerful over women and to see women as sexual objects? THIS IS THE CONVERSATION I KEEP ASKING FOR. I’M NOT AFRAID TO ASK BECAUSE LADIES WE HAVE ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HOW MEN PERCEIVE WOMEN AND IT BEGINS WHEN THE MAN IS A BABY AND THEN A BOY THAT IS WHEN HE IS LEARNING ABOUT RELATIONS<
HIPS…ABOUT LOVE AND HONOR..I SPEAK FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF MY OWN SON WHO BURIED A SISTER AND HAS BEEN RAISED BY A SINGLE MOTHER…HE LOVES AND HONORS WOMEN…MY SON IS CHIVALROUS…HE IS KIND AND CARING ABOUT WOMEN….SO I KNOW IT'S POSSIBLE. RAISE BOYS WHO LOVE AND HONOR WOMEN.



{June 20, 2014}   De-mystifying date rape drugs

Be Street Savvy, Be Aware of your surroundings and get the facts on date rape drug awareness

Date Rape Drug Awareness:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKIAgazyUUE    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvOpN-QQs_U     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk_ysDcaacQ

Profiling Predators (University of Michigan Study): http://sapac.umich.edu/article/196     http://tacticalsurvivaltraining.com/sexual-predator-rehabilitation-catch-a-predator/

Date Rape Drug Victim: http://teens.webmd.com/girls/features/date-rape-drugs-it-happened-to-me

Predators are relying on everything you don’t know or see: http://www.cybersafewomen.org/date_rape_drugs_drug-facilitated_sexual_assault”

Colleges and date rape drug victims’ stories: http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/daterapedrug.html

Date rape drugs on the rise: http://www.bgnews.com/date-rape-drugs-on-rise/article_20fdda69-9fe3-500f-883a-cfe78a05707a.html?TNNoMobile

Protecting ourselves from predators:  http://www.relating360.com/index.php/how-teenagers-can-protect-themselves-from-date-rape-drugs-43105/

Date Rape Drug Awareness:  http://c-coda.org/other_drugs/date_rape_drugs

Ambien as Predator choice date rape drug, LA:  http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/2014/03/26/darren-sharper-ambien-zolpidem-insomnia-date-rape-case/6930621/  http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/drug-sharper-common-rapists-article-1.1616611

Predator Psychology: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/psychology+predators/9750591/story.html     http://tacticalsurvivaltraining.com/sexual-predator-rehabilitation-catch-a-predator/

De-mystifying date rape drugs:  http://ameharome.wordpress.com/2013/01/19/date-rape-drugs-explained-and-de-mystified/

The Truth About Date Rape Drugs:  http://www.thesoko.com/thesoko/article1257.html

If it is against your will, it is against the law:   http://www.miamidade.gov/police/victims-date-rape.asp

A CULTURE OF RAPE:  The Military & Date Rape Drugs (The military she’d trusted to care for her wasn’t interested in caring for her at all…):  http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/the-rape-of-petty-officer-blumer-20130214

Predator Protection – Why Be A Victim? – Seek Martial Arts or Self-Defense Training In Your Community – http://www.womensmartialartsalliance.com/Sexual_Assault.php

What if you think your a victim of date rape drugs?: http://www.justthinktwice.com/consequences/your_drink_is_drugged.html



{May 18, 2014}   GHB — A threat to society

Fifteen years ago I learned from a stranger’s voice at a hospital emergency room on the west coast where my daughter was attending college, she was dead-on-arrival at their hospital from GHB poisoning. The men, a local hip-hop singer and his band, who brought my daughter to the hospital admitted in sworn statements to the police she had been at their music studio forty to fifty minutes before she fell to the floor convulsing and went into a coma. The men despite attempting to give CPR and quitting, didn’t call 911 or seek medical attention.

What’s always been confusing is the homicide division didn’t immediately react to the red herring in the men’s statements i.e., my daughter was at their studio 40 to 50 minutes before showing any symptoms of distress, which indicates my daughter did in fact ingest the GHB at the music studio, despite the men’s denial they were the source of the GHB or had anything to do with her death. Their statements were flawed with suspicious impossibilities. The boyfriend singer denied he was my daughter’s boyfriend, and denied my daughter’s involvement with him professionally as she had designed the covers for his CD (http://www.musicstack.com/discography/abstract+tribe+unique/mood+pieces/r722941.) Yet, neither the police nor the homicide division of San Francisco never followed up on these issues or others, and they never brought these men in for questioning beyond the initial statements they gave he police called to the hospital. The facts surrounding her death and the GHB poisoning were never made clear to the public (http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Concern-Over-Rise-In-Blue-Nitro-Use-6-in-S-F-2912000.php.)

Those men, they walked away–free men, unaccountable for their predatory acts and it is clear from my daughter’s friends who she had been with all evening prior to her leaving for the music studio to pick up her boyfriend in the predawn hours of Easter Sunday, she was clear and radiant, and fully cognizant. It was clear she never would have voluntarily taken the massive dose of GHB still remaining in her system postmortem even though GHB metabolizes from the blood and tissue very rapidly. Her toxicology report indicated GHB was the only drug in her system although there was a trace of alcohol.

My daughter’s life ended senselessly and her death has left an indelible stain on our hearts. My hope has been to this day to find a retired private detective who will take an interest in wanting to solve my daughter’s cold case and reopen an investigation to look at the evidence with a mind to solve the crime because those who predatorily murdered her with GHB need to answer in a court of law. Particularly since 15 years ago there wasn’t as many facts about GHB as we now know and by the men’s own admission (in their statements), my daughter didn’t show symptoms until 40 to 50 minutes after she arrived at their music studio to pick up her boyfriend, the hip-hop singer, who had called and asked her to come get him. She was never seen alive again. Her drink was spiked with a fatal dose of GHB, and the predators aren’t turning themselves in.

What we now know (http://www.nhtsa.gov/people/injury/research/job185drugs/gamma-hydroxybutyrate.htm), as fact, is GHB reacts in the body within 15 to 20 minutes minutes of ingestion depending on stomach content. And, if you are drinking alcohol it has a synergistic effect (speeding) on the depressing the central nervous system. GHB is made from industrial solvent purchased at the hardware store and can be manufactured in one’s kitchen sink.

BUT, despite all we know about GHB ((http://www.ussc.gov/sites/default/files/pdf/amendment-process/public-hearings-and-meetings/20040317-19/Avergun-DOJ.pdf), it’s proliferation (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/02/27/2-investigators-date-rape-drug-becoming-favorite-for-recreational-use/) has moved from the kitchen sink operations of the 90’s to worldwide clandestine manufacturers (http://oag.ca.gov/news/press-releases/californians-overdose-leads-arrest-phoenix-and-seizure-1100-gallons-illegal) around the planet, especially China, who manufacture GHB in 55-gallon drums and is marketed over the internet by black market dealers.

GHB IS A THREAT TO SOCIETY and the more awake and conscious and aware we become of predators armed with GHB in our midst the more likely we can destroy the market for this threatening drug. Who do you think is predominately the victim of GHB and date rape drug poisonings? WOMEN. Be a beacon for GHB awareness and watch out for vulnerability in women in your proximity. If you see someone putting something in someone’s drink, speak up…WARN the potential victim. Align with your sisters.

In honor of my daughter, Skylar Lynn, be conscious, stay aware of your drinks…NEVER leave your drink unattended. “Spread the good word in honor of Skylar Ringland, a shining star of our underground family who lost her life recently due to her involuntary ingestion of GHB,” (http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sfmetro/05.10.99/groundscore.html)..

To anyone who seeks to donate to the Skylar Lynn Ringland Foundation and the investigation into her senseless death, please contact Cat Lynn Boyle at catboyl30@gmail.com.



If you saw someone spiking a woman’s drink would you say something or remain silent? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfGVjSX6Ook

If you have been the victim of date rape drugs it’s not your fault. It can happens to anyone unaware. Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz4UKyN1yxg

GHB is drug of choice for predators who are out in the open looking to rape women. This video will make you aware of how to avoid getting drugged with date rape drugs when going out. WATCH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZzl7TR32Qg

There are thousands of dealers all over the US dealing in drums of GHB being sold over the Internet! Be Smart, stay conscious of your surroundings and NEVER leave your drink unattended and, when in doubt toss the drink.



Finally, a GHB Sensor. A team of researchers from the National University of Singapore (NUS) has developed the world’s first fluorescent sensor to identify the presence of a drug known as GHB that is commonly used to spike beverages. When the sensor is mixed with a sample of a beverage containing GHB, the mixture changes color in less than 30 seconds, making detection of the drug fast and easy. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/03/140327100000.htm
http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/date-rape-drug-sensor-which-changes-colour-developed-local-scientists-



As many of you know, I have been writing a novel, SHADOW DANCE by Cat Lynn BoyleShadow Dance, based on a GHB poisoning in 1999 that took my daughter’s life.

The title of the novel has been edited from Alchemy of A Shadow Dance to “Shadow Dance,” and it will soon be linked here so you may read my story. Shadow Dance has had its first edit but I anticipate more intensive editing before I can submit the story to publishers. I look forward to your comments once I post it here.



As promised, I hope to publish my manuscript, SHADOW DANCE, a manuscript that I (Cat Lynn Boyle) have written in memory of my beloved daughter Skylar Lynn Ringland, for whom this Blog honors.

Shadow Dance is fiction but it is based on the events that occurred to my daughter in 1999, only certain facts and names have been changed. Shadow Dance is about stories within stories as read from a journal or told from different perspectives. The story is about change and begins by introducing a beautiful, bright young girl who is murdered after ingesting a drink spiked with a fatal dose of GHB. Part II tells the story of loss and confusion that transforms a family as they struggle to make sense of the tragedy and strive for illusive justice. Part III, unlike real life, brings the GHB predators to trial and, although through other means, ultimately, justice is achieved. Shadow Dance is a story of change and transformation; of life and death; of love and hate; of despair and grace; of bravery and cowardice; of darkness and light; of wholeness and brokenness; of truth and deception; of destruction and resurrection; of murder and revenge. I hope you enjoy reading it and I look forward to your comments. Thank you for following the Skylar Lynn Ringland Date Rape Awareness Blog written for you. The very best is intended for you in the new year. May we all experience love, grace, peace and prosperity. Happy New Year!



et cetera