Women's Awareness Blog











{June 3, 2016}   Katie Koestner

Bringing her story of date rape to the world, Katie Koestner (http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-36434191), kept her story alive. We know it can happen to any girl or woman. It can happen if your female. Thank you Katie Koestler for awareness you have provided by telling your story until people listened. Thank you. I know there are many of you out there that have a story too. Let us hear your voice. Join the conversation.

Please, help keep my daughter, Skylar’s story alive. Its a story about how a young 22 year old girl can innocently or unknowingly open doors and hearts to predators in their midst. I have written a novel, called Sophie’s Shadow. (previously written as SHADOWDANCE by Cat Lynn Boyle as of 2016 03 20by Cat Lynn Boyle as of 2016 03 20) It tells my daughter’s story. It’s about what happened to her one dawn when her boyfriend invited her after hours to his studio. Seven hours laters, she died in his arms after ingesting a drink laced with the date rape drug, GHB. Skylar’s case is a cold case, and, what her case needs is the attention Katie Koestler is able to incite around her experience with date rape. Katie Koestner is the hero, I’m not. If any of you reading this blog have ideas about how to build momentum around Skylar’s story, please reply with your ideas. And, Katie, if you read my blog, I’d really enjoy hearing more of your story. Thank you for following.

 



How quickly our lives can twist in literally seconds into an unrecognizable existence. In the morning your a wife and mother and then its all taken from you. A Florida woman in the linked article [http://www.essence.com/2015/03/04/marissa-alexander-exclusive/] runs from her husband, who has a history of abused her, and previous wives, but, in a heated moment she gets a gun to protect herself and fires a warning shot into the kitchen wall. Her husband runs and calls 911reporting his wife just fired at him and his kids but the kids weren’t in the house. At her trial she is convicted of felony assault and sentenced to 20 years even though Florida is a “Stand Your Ground” defense state BUT CLEARLY the law does not apply to women against their husband. Why is that? Discrimination against women is systemic and persistent. Why does gender play a role in one’s ability to receive equal justice?



{February 14, 2015}   What kind gun for a woman?

Sadly, the myth that women are somehow less able or too weak to shoot a powerful handgun exists; it exists in gun stores, on the web or anywhere a woman might go to purchase a firearm or perhaps even within her family or social circles…http://thewellarmedwoman.com/what-kind-of-a-gun-for-a-woman

So, here is a truth if you want to stop a rapist carry a gun. Its a simple truth. It’s the responsible thing to do. The experts say It will end rape. According to self-defense expert Paxton Quigley handguns play an important role in society: they stop rape. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/07/25/do-u-s-women-need-guns-self-defense-expert-paxton-quigley-says-yes.html

A Well Armed Woman: survival stories

These stories are gripping and, only the tip of the iceberg ( http://thewellarmedwoman.com/women-and-guns/survival-stories) You need some kind of self defense training whether it’s a gun or martial arts or another type self-defense is a wise choice.

…the gun and its mythology is the ultimate form of violent masculinity…Women can also be a part of this social acceptance of firearms, as they can be seen as being tools for protection. ” http://www.wilpfinternational.org/guns-and-gender-based-violence/



Husband’s fantasy…let see..buy GHB and hire a predator to sexually assault his wife: http://wtvr.com/2015/02/09/police-husband-purchased-ghb-to-drug-sexually-assault-wife/  It must be the water.

I watch a program the other night called the Pyramid Code that offered proofs that experts from all the sciences are meeting to attempt to re-date history as much has been tossed, suppressed, plundered, destroyed, or discovered much later dissolving older theories while new ones emerged (Newton v. Einstein.) Ever hear your expectations affect the outcome of your experiment. Nevertheless, these scientist claimed mankind is just coming out of its’ lowest spiritual connection since the Golden Age 40,000 years ago, which these experts report is a more accurate dating of the earliest matriarchal Egyptian dynasties. Point being the shift hasn’t happened yet our society is pretty depraved. Don’t take my word, listen to the media, the music, the cable, the advertisements, your friends, co-workers, by standers…It doesn’t matter it’s everywhere. Look around there’re a lot of deprave people who look at women like prey or objects and can easily buy GHB and wait until you’re most vulnerable.

Wake up. Look around. Know the landscape. Predators are waiting, watching, Let’s hope, the whole planet wakes up and raises their awareness of the need to learns to live in peace and love and respect all life. If you have a husband, let’s hope he’s got your back, otherwise he’s not worth it like the guy in the video above. What’s he thinking? Any guesses? Be aware take self-defense classes.

Awareness is key. You are the miracle you seek.



The unspoken rule of femininity:  you’re always supposed to be sexy, but you’re not supposed to be slutty. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/05/i-am-not-a-slut-leora-tanenbaum_n_6623114.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

Do you believe female sexuality is policed? Are there two standards when it comes to sexuality?

Words connote cultural double standard: …”slut” means a woman who is disgusting, shameful and out of control sexually….[yet] [m]en are expected, even encouraged, to be sexually active — even in an uncontrolled manner — while women are expected to be minimally sexual.

Did you know…The very first usage of the term “Slut” is from 1386 from Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales.” It appears as a noun, “sluttish,” and refers to a man who is dressed in dirty and untidy clothes. Over time, “sluttish” became a noun, “slut,” and eventually it was used exclusively to refer to women — always a slovenly white woman from the poor or working class. From the very beginning, you can see the intersection of race, class and gender in the usage of the word “slut.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/05/i-am-not-a-slut-leora-tanenbaum_n_6623114.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

“Well, that girl deserves to be called a slut, because she chose to do something wrong.” It’s that mentality that always dovetails with the mainstream response to sexual assault. When woman comes forward and says, “I was sexually assaulted,” the default mainstream response is to accuse her of exerting agency [dressed slutty, intoxication, etc.] to provoke the assault….THE PRESSURE on women….It’s god damn exhausting!

You don’t wanna be a prude and you don’t wanna be a slut. It’s really impossible….evaluated and judged through a sexual prism no matter what… Either women are not sexual enough or women are too sexual.

There’s really no way to win. .. because so many adults are judgmental about the way young women present themselves in public. They just don’t understand how these young women have to walk on this razor-thin tightrope to not be a prude, not be a slut, be sexy but just the right amount, not show that they’re exerting any effort — you just woke up looking sexy in this very understated way.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/05/i-am-not-a-slut-leora-tanenbaum_n_6623114.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

Avoid the pitfalls of labels, criticism, comparisons, and judgments by becoming independent of the need to compare yourself and fit in. Release the need to be more anything in the eyes of others. Eliminate competition in your life and retreat into quiet strength. Seek awareness.



Why should women accept street harassment?  The message is repeatedly sent to women that they should take precautions, rather than have the audacity to demand that men stop harassing and assaulting them in the first place.

As we become used to the idea that it is “normal” for women to stick in protective groups on nights out, or text when they are safely home, we also create a parallel norm: that harassment and assault are natural and even expected parts of life, rather than deliberate, criminal acts undertaken by people who should be tackled. http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2015/jan/30/the-impact-of-sexual-harassment-goes-far-beyond-the-incident

How do you feel inside when men cat call after you as you walk down a street? Do you change your route? Do you dress different? Do you like it? How do you define predator?



“The one thing a violent rapist deserves is to face is a good woman with a gun!” That was Wayne LaPierre, executive director of the National Rifle Association, the standard bearers for America’s gun lobby, making the case that personal firearms prevent rape.” http://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2013/mar/25/guns-protection-national-rifle-association WHAT DO YOU THINK. If you were about to be raped how would you feel if you had your gun to pull? Empowered? What’s your take?

According to National Sporting Goods Association, female participation in target shooting grew by 46.5 percent between 2001 and 2010, to 4.89 million shooters. The National Rifle Association reports an increase in female participants in classes and events by as much as 20 percent…http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/07/girls-with-guns-how-arming-more-women-could-change-america/260421/  It make sense that women are showing up. Why go to the slaughter unarmed. Men will think twice when it becomes a fact that women are armed for protection.

About half (48%) of gun owners said the main reason they owned a gun was for protection, according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in February 2013. About three-in-ten (32%) said they owned a gun for hunting. That was a turnaround from 1999 when 49% said they owned a gun for hunting and 26% said they had a gun for protection in an ABC News/Washington Post poll… http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/04/24/5-facts-about-the-nra-and-guns-in-america/  The statistics don’t lie. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes.  http://www.lifeafterdatingapsycho.com/blog/dating-violence-statistics-and-definitions

Make it your personal goal to take some form of self-defense classes in 2015.



{January 11, 2015}   Product Recall…

Hello out there…You know, when you think about it, the media in general, the fashion industry, the porn industry, music & entertainment especially rap & ghetto music, even female artist like Lady gaga, Rhianna, etc, movies, stripping & pole dancing, rape and the whole criminal justice system concerning rape, body and facial surgery, black market prostitutes, predators, drugs especially date rape drugs, and alcohol….the list is long…but you get the picture…women in these scenarios are pawns at best at worse are a means to an ends..for

western patriarchal society submits to the whims of men. It creates a culture dominated by the whims of men. When everything clearly caters to the whims of men why change the laws? Why legislate more rights for women? Why not limit or take away women’s rights? Why not enslave women in a system that defeats them?

Why does century old violence against women persist throughout the world? It persist because it is the whims of men. Why are women exploited like commercial products? Because it further dehumanizes women, half of humanity.

Product recall REMINDING YOU raise your conscious awareness. Don’t be enslaved by dehumanizing systems and cultures. You’re the miracle you’re waiting for. Think of those 1.5 million people who took to the streets in Paris this morning to march against oppression by Jihadists. There were each the miracle. Equality to be whoever you are is a human right shared by ALL men and women. Be your own miracle. Own your sexuality without submitting to the whims of men. What’s your take? Weigh in.



{December 23, 2014}   Portrait of Systemic Misogyny

Rant from UCSB Shooter, Elliott Rodger :

“On the day of retribution, I am going to enter the hottest sorority house at UCSB and I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blond slut I see inside there. All those girls I’ve desired so much. They have all rejected me and looked down on me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance toward them, while they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes,” the video says. “I take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you. You will finally see that I am, in truth, the superior one, the true alpha male.”  https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2014/05/27/uc-santa-barbara-students-killed-shooting-rampage

“It’s Not All Men” is the media lament…men like Rodgers are the exception…BUT according to Michael Laser, in his article about Jiam Ghomeshi (Canadian writer/musician & CBC radio host –Serial Women Abuser… http://globalnews.ca/news/1647091/timeline-sex-assault-allegations-arise-after-cbc-fires-jian-ghomeshi/) , he says, “…that is bullshit…It is all men. We, collectively…are responsible for creating…conditions that not only facilitate Ghomeshi, but that ensure he will exist.

This is a very uncomfortable and inconvenient truth. It is all men and the society that they produced that allowed a misogynist, alleged serial abuser to rise to and feel comfortable within the halls of media and fame, despite the now known and clear indications that he was a predator all along and that many, many people could have done something about it but did not.

The people who knew did not care. He was famous. He was a celebrity in our eyes. He had very real institutional power. And so, as is increasingly clear, even though everyone on the inside seemingly either “knew” or had an inkling that he was a predator, no one did anything.

No one did anything…Despite all the protestations to the contrary, this is as old as male patriarchal power and is entirely predictable in a male supremacist “culture” of institutionalized pornography and prostitution and of male violence and sexual power as an accepted norm…The very nature of systemic oppression means…We have all, especially as men, participated in the “locker room” or trash-talking objectification of women and in the creation of a culture and context in which a Ghomeshi would feel right at home…

Given the fact that misogynist predators like Bill Cosby, R Kelly, Woody Allen and many others can continue to be famous, respected and embraced as “artists” despite the established reality of what they have done to women and girls, why would anyone be either surprised by Ghomeshi and his enablers or the fact that he got away with it for so long?”    http://feministcurrent.com/9789/it-is-all-men-our-culture-of-predatory-misogyny/

HOW SOCIETY CONTROL WOMEN via SHIT POLITiANS AND WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY ABOUT WOMEN”S REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS even in situations of rape and incest: http://www.politicususa.com/proof-war-women-2

It is a struggle to understand why a woman’s reproductive rights, who describe abortion as a lifestyle convenience for women is the focus of so many men dominating the U.S. Congress. Do you, as a women, get the felling you have little control over your own female body and reproductive rights? It’s as though women’s bodies are a means to an end, reproduction.

Like Tina Fey said, “If I have to listen to one more grey-faced man with a $2 haircut explain to me what rape is, I’m going to lose my mind.”

The Media’s Ideal Woman & Objectification of Women…Despite the physical, cognitive, emotional, and spiritual obstacles in the quest to achieve idealized beauty, women continue to chase it.

..To combat sexism and objectification, society must reshape its patriarchal framework and move towards more egalitarian standards.

Therefore, working towards a society where women can walk safely down the street without fear of assault, or can look in the mirror without negative mental and physical consequences begins internally and hopefully effects the external environment.  http://newyorksociologist.org/11/Berberick2011.pdf

Change your thoughts (ignore the media) about who you are as woman and watch the external world transform. What is your idea for eliminating violence against women, eliminating objectification of women, and ending politics that diminish a woman’s reproductive rights.



WHAT IS RAPE CULTURE?
In a rape culture, people are surrounded with images, language, laws, and other everyday phenomena that validate and perpetuate, rape. Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. Rather than viewing the culture of rape as a problem to change, people in a rape culture think about the persistence of rape as “just the way things are.”

Rather than addressing the problem of sexual assault against women on college campuses the trend has been to blame and shame the victim. The NY Times reported on a study conducted at Bob Jones University in S.C., a Christian/Evangelican University revealed that students who reported sexual assault were asked not to report the incidents to police for fear of what it might do to the families, university, communities, etc. involved. Some students were even asked how their bodies responded to sexual abuse…http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/12/us/bob-jones-university-sex-assault-victim-study.html?module=ArrowsNav&contentCollection=U.S.&action=keypress&region=FixedLeft&pgtype=article  “…in many cases, victims said they were assaulted as children by people within their churches, and were told by university officials that speaking out would hurt the Christian cause.”

Rolling Stone recently reported  a chilling account of a rape at UV campus and its lack of action to which UV responded with a zero-tolerance policy on sexual assault. Then Rolling Stone under criticism by the Washington Post retract its story indicating “…In the face of new information, there now appear to be discrepancies in Jackie’s account, and we have come to the conclusion that our trust in her was misplaced…” Which again, indicates a lack of credibility and places blame on the victim. Rolling Stone then corrected itself by admitting the mistake was the Rolling Stones…http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/13/us/uva-rape-turmoil/index.html?hpt=hp_t4

You get the gist of things here? The consciousness of a Rape Culture shoves the blame and shame onto the victim.

One college University of Iowa (UI) is proactively taking steps to raise awareness or social consciousness to change the culture of rape.  http://thegazette.com/subject/news/changing-the-rape-culture-20141031

Time magazine calls it, interestingly, time to end the “hysteria” over culture of rape. You’d be hysterical too if you were raped! I know I was. But Time goes on to say, “Though rape is certainly a serious problem, there’s no evidence that it’s considered a cultural norm.”  When I read anything in the media, the first thing I’m always aware of is if it’s in the media, it’s what they want Americans to believe. It has nothing to do with FACT. In fact, the major media sources are all told what is and isn’t news. http://upsettingrapeculture.com/rapeculture.php

The Time article goes on to promote that most guys don’t rape. “The vast majority of men absorb these messages and view rape as the horrific crime…”   http://time.com/30545/its-time-to-end-rape-culture-hysteria/

While true, most men don’t rape, in fact 23 percent of men rape women,  Yes, it’s about individuals who choose to disregard gender equality and rape but it’s MORE about a culture that is lethargic, or gives lip service to taking action to stop the violence against women. IT’s about a society or culture (and its organizations and institutions) that trivializes and normalize violence against women. Its about a culture or society that puts blame on victims and shames them into silence. The entire point behind a culture of rape is not in the number of men who rape BUT A CULTURE that accepts rape and violence against women as normal and responds to the tragedy of a rape culture by trivializing the outcry of 1 out of 5 women (and 1 out of 4 women on college campuses) who have reported rape and will not be silence.

“Invoking “rape culture” is simply a way of looking, academically or anecdotally, at how the ephemera around sex and sexual violence may systematically create subtle biases in behavior and perception. That’s all “rape culture” really means: that certain beliefs and norms in our society may make it easier for sexual violence to take place. …I would also add the unwitting people who perpetuate certain ideas about sex and sexual violence—”have unconsciously created an unplanned culture [of rape] that afflicts all women and men.” http://reason.com/blog/2014/11/21/a-different-way-to-look-at-rape-culture

…cavalier attitudes toward rape could contribute to a culture where the seriousness of the violation

is devalued. And while this devaluation won’t drive more people to start committing assault, it could

allow those who do to thrive… http://reason.com/blog/2014/11/21/a-different-way-to-look-at-rape-culture

It isn’t that “rape culture” directly causes rape, but that it makes people less likely to speak up if they have been assaulted, or less likely to speak out against someone they know has committed sexual assault. That it drives online threats and harassment. That it influences the way our police and the criminal justice system treat sexual assault allegations.

Raise Awareness Refuse to Be Silenced by a Culture of Rape.



et cetera