Women's Awareness Blog











{June 3, 2016}   Katie Koestner

Bringing her story of date rape to the world, Katie Koestner (http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-36434191), kept her story alive. We know it can happen to any girl or woman. It can happen if your female. Thank you Katie Koestler for awareness you have provided by telling your story until people listened. Thank you. I know there are many of you out there that have a story too. Let us hear your voice. Join the conversation.

Please, help keep my daughter, Skylar’s story alive. Its a story about how a young 22 year old girl can innocently or unknowingly open doors and hearts to predators in their midst. I have written a novel, called Sophie’s Shadow. (previously written as SHADOWDANCE by Cat Lynn Boyle as of 2016 03 20by Cat Lynn Boyle as of 2016 03 20) It tells my daughter’s story. It’s about what happened to her one dawn when her boyfriend invited her after hours to his studio. Seven hours laters, she died in his arms after ingesting a drink laced with the date rape drug, GHB. Skylar’s case is a cold case, and, what her case needs is the attention Katie Koestler is able to incite around her experience with date rape. Katie Koestner is the hero, I’m not. If any of you reading this blog have ideas about how to build momentum around Skylar’s story, please reply with your ideas. And, Katie, if you read my blog, I’d really enjoy hearing more of your story. Thank you for following.

 



{February 14, 2015}   What kind gun for a woman?

Sadly, the myth that women are somehow less able or too weak to shoot a powerful handgun exists; it exists in gun stores, on the web or anywhere a woman might go to purchase a firearm or perhaps even within her family or social circles…http://thewellarmedwoman.com/what-kind-of-a-gun-for-a-woman

So, here is a truth if you want to stop a rapist carry a gun. Its a simple truth. It’s the responsible thing to do. The experts say It will end rape. According to self-defense expert Paxton Quigley handguns play an important role in society: they stop rape. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/07/25/do-u-s-women-need-guns-self-defense-expert-paxton-quigley-says-yes.html

A Well Armed Woman: survival stories

These stories are gripping and, only the tip of the iceberg ( http://thewellarmedwoman.com/women-and-guns/survival-stories) You need some kind of self defense training whether it’s a gun or martial arts or another type self-defense is a wise choice.

…the gun and its mythology is the ultimate form of violent masculinity…Women can also be a part of this social acceptance of firearms, as they can be seen as being tools for protection. ” http://www.wilpfinternational.org/guns-and-gender-based-violence/



“The one thing a violent rapist deserves is to face is a good woman with a gun!” That was Wayne LaPierre, executive director of the National Rifle Association, the standard bearers for America’s gun lobby, making the case that personal firearms prevent rape.” http://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2013/mar/25/guns-protection-national-rifle-association WHAT DO YOU THINK. If you were about to be raped how would you feel if you had your gun to pull? Empowered? What’s your take?

According to National Sporting Goods Association, female participation in target shooting grew by 46.5 percent between 2001 and 2010, to 4.89 million shooters. The National Rifle Association reports an increase in female participants in classes and events by as much as 20 percent…http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/07/girls-with-guns-how-arming-more-women-could-change-america/260421/  It make sense that women are showing up. Why go to the slaughter unarmed. Men will think twice when it becomes a fact that women are armed for protection.

About half (48%) of gun owners said the main reason they owned a gun was for protection, according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in February 2013. About three-in-ten (32%) said they owned a gun for hunting. That was a turnaround from 1999 when 49% said they owned a gun for hunting and 26% said they had a gun for protection in an ABC News/Washington Post poll… http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/04/24/5-facts-about-the-nra-and-guns-in-america/  The statistics don’t lie. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes.  http://www.lifeafterdatingapsycho.com/blog/dating-violence-statistics-and-definitions

Make it your personal goal to take some form of self-defense classes in 2015.



{January 11, 2015}   Product Recall…

Hello out there…You know, when you think about it, the media in general, the fashion industry, the porn industry, music & entertainment especially rap & ghetto music, even female artist like Lady gaga, Rhianna, etc, movies, stripping & pole dancing, rape and the whole criminal justice system concerning rape, body and facial surgery, black market prostitutes, predators, drugs especially date rape drugs, and alcohol….the list is long…but you get the picture…women in these scenarios are pawns at best at worse are a means to an ends..for

western patriarchal society submits to the whims of men. It creates a culture dominated by the whims of men. When everything clearly caters to the whims of men why change the laws? Why legislate more rights for women? Why not limit or take away women’s rights? Why not enslave women in a system that defeats them?

Why does century old violence against women persist throughout the world? It persist because it is the whims of men. Why are women exploited like commercial products? Because it further dehumanizes women, half of humanity.

Product recall REMINDING YOU raise your conscious awareness. Don’t be enslaved by dehumanizing systems and cultures. You’re the miracle you’re waiting for. Think of those 1.5 million people who took to the streets in Paris this morning to march against oppression by Jihadists. There were each the miracle. Equality to be whoever you are is a human right shared by ALL men and women. Be your own miracle. Own your sexuality without submitting to the whims of men. What’s your take? Weigh in.



TECHNOLOGY EMPOWERS PREDATORS IN NEW WAYS BUT IT ALSO EMPOWERS VICTIMS. THERE’S THE GUY WHO WON’T LEAVE YOU ALONE AND CALLS UNEXPECTEDLY. HE’S SO BOLD HE SENDS A DICK PIC. WHAT CAN YOU DO? HOW ABOUT CONTACT HIS MOM VIA FACEBOOK. Read,Tracy Clark-Flory’s article, The Crotch Shot Revenge: http://www.salon.com/2013/06/11/the_crotch_shot_revenge/

What do you do with guy like that? Weigh in.



WHAT IS RAPE CULTURE?
In a rape culture, people are surrounded with images, language, laws, and other everyday phenomena that validate and perpetuate, rape. Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. Rather than viewing the culture of rape as a problem to change, people in a rape culture think about the persistence of rape as “just the way things are.”

Rather than addressing the problem of sexual assault against women on college campuses the trend has been to blame and shame the victim. The NY Times reported on a study conducted at Bob Jones University in S.C., a Christian/Evangelican University revealed that students who reported sexual assault were asked not to report the incidents to police for fear of what it might do to the families, university, communities, etc. involved. Some students were even asked how their bodies responded to sexual abuse…http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/12/us/bob-jones-university-sex-assault-victim-study.html?module=ArrowsNav&contentCollection=U.S.&action=keypress&region=FixedLeft&pgtype=article  “…in many cases, victims said they were assaulted as children by people within their churches, and were told by university officials that speaking out would hurt the Christian cause.”

Rolling Stone recently reported  a chilling account of a rape at UV campus and its lack of action to which UV responded with a zero-tolerance policy on sexual assault. Then Rolling Stone under criticism by the Washington Post retract its story indicating “…In the face of new information, there now appear to be discrepancies in Jackie’s account, and we have come to the conclusion that our trust in her was misplaced…” Which again, indicates a lack of credibility and places blame on the victim. Rolling Stone then corrected itself by admitting the mistake was the Rolling Stones…http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/13/us/uva-rape-turmoil/index.html?hpt=hp_t4

You get the gist of things here? The consciousness of a Rape Culture shoves the blame and shame onto the victim.

One college University of Iowa (UI) is proactively taking steps to raise awareness or social consciousness to change the culture of rape.  http://thegazette.com/subject/news/changing-the-rape-culture-20141031

Time magazine calls it, interestingly, time to end the “hysteria” over culture of rape. You’d be hysterical too if you were raped! I know I was. But Time goes on to say, “Though rape is certainly a serious problem, there’s no evidence that it’s considered a cultural norm.”  When I read anything in the media, the first thing I’m always aware of is if it’s in the media, it’s what they want Americans to believe. It has nothing to do with FACT. In fact, the major media sources are all told what is and isn’t news. http://upsettingrapeculture.com/rapeculture.php

The Time article goes on to promote that most guys don’t rape. “The vast majority of men absorb these messages and view rape as the horrific crime…”   http://time.com/30545/its-time-to-end-rape-culture-hysteria/

While true, most men don’t rape, in fact 23 percent of men rape women,  Yes, it’s about individuals who choose to disregard gender equality and rape but it’s MORE about a culture that is lethargic, or gives lip service to taking action to stop the violence against women. IT’s about a society or culture (and its organizations and institutions) that trivializes and normalize violence against women. Its about a culture or society that puts blame on victims and shames them into silence. The entire point behind a culture of rape is not in the number of men who rape BUT A CULTURE that accepts rape and violence against women as normal and responds to the tragedy of a rape culture by trivializing the outcry of 1 out of 5 women (and 1 out of 4 women on college campuses) who have reported rape and will not be silence.

“Invoking “rape culture” is simply a way of looking, academically or anecdotally, at how the ephemera around sex and sexual violence may systematically create subtle biases in behavior and perception. That’s all “rape culture” really means: that certain beliefs and norms in our society may make it easier for sexual violence to take place. …I would also add the unwitting people who perpetuate certain ideas about sex and sexual violence—”have unconsciously created an unplanned culture [of rape] that afflicts all women and men.” http://reason.com/blog/2014/11/21/a-different-way-to-look-at-rape-culture

…cavalier attitudes toward rape could contribute to a culture where the seriousness of the violation

is devalued. And while this devaluation won’t drive more people to start committing assault, it could

allow those who do to thrive… http://reason.com/blog/2014/11/21/a-different-way-to-look-at-rape-culture

It isn’t that “rape culture” directly causes rape, but that it makes people less likely to speak up if they have been assaulted, or less likely to speak out against someone they know has committed sexual assault. That it drives online threats and harassment. That it influences the way our police and the criminal justice system treat sexual assault allegations.

Raise Awareness Refuse to Be Silenced by a Culture of Rape.



When I talk about a culture of rape, I’m talking about the way a society collectively thinks, ignores, trivializes, normalizes or makes into jokes sexual assault, rape and violence against women. In America rape, assault and violence against women is reported in the news every day; pop music blast lyrics that blur the lines of consent; sexy apparel is designed for a younger and younger market; athletics, musicians, politicians, and actors who rape are supported and the victims blamed for ruining careers and life stories; we put the responsibility on women to stay safe; victims on college campuses are still not taken seriously when reporting rape; woman’s body parts are objectified and marketed to promote products as sex sells. Read this articles for examples of rape culture: http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/03/examples-of-rape-culture/

The language of a culture of rape is all around us. We’ve got a problem. And, as one author puts it, “we’re not teaching our sons not to rape.”  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rebecca-gallagher/we-have-a-problem-here_b_5882974.html   That’s where is starts, training a new generation of boys who grow into men who love, honor and respect women. I taught my son and, feel confident, he will pass this legacy on to his son. This is what we can do as mothers living in a culture of rape, we can teach our boys to honor girls and women by not practicing aggression and violence. What about you? What can you do to help change the current U.S. Culture of Rape to a Culture of Caring Respect for all.



I too have been drugged and raped, and, know, what it is and this woman’s story is soooo believable: http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/05/showbiz/bill-cosby-playboy-accusations/index.html?hpt=ju_c1

and then, there’s the woman who claims Cosby raped her when she was 15:  http://perezhilton.com/2014-12-05-bill-cosby-accuser-file-police-report-lapd-investigation#.VIOBg75N3zI.

OMG and this guy masquerades as ta decent human being, a good ol’ guy. It makes me sick.

What’s your story? What do you have to say?

These women were raped at a time in history when women were taught to hide the fact they’d been raped…they didn’t talk about it…it was shameful. When I told my mother in the late 60s my Dad’s work associate molested me, she said we weren’t ever to talk about it again. These women had these experiences in the 60s at the Playboy Mansion. Not, they raise their voices and cry out against the injustice they endured and, it echoes the systemic violence against women prevalent throughout the world, and includes the current trend of objectification of women for commercial ends or gains.

Well, let’s just shine the light right there and say no more shame no more blame. For where there is smoke there is likely fire. We need solutions. What’s yours?????????? Always open your heart to your sisters.



Coke Pulling /its Sexist Ad:  http://money.cnn.com/2014/12/03/news/companies/coke-milk-ads-sexist/index.html?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iid=obnetwork



The quote by Lakshmi Puri, Assistant Secretary-General of the U.N. and Deputy Executive Director of U.N. Women, marks the anniversary of the International Day for the elimination of violence against women (November 25 through Dec. 10 Human Rights Day.) 16 Days of Activism are meant to raise global awareness of the violence endured by women and girls around the world, Puri explains.

Paradigm Shift ~ Men need to be a part of the conversation: Gender Violence is a MEN’s issue. Men hear Women’s issue or gender issue, and they tune out. Our entire cognitive structure is set up to ask questions about woman..what their doing (behavior) or thinking…why does she continue to date that guy, why does she keep going back to him, why does she dress like that.

BUT, let’s shift that paradigm and start asking the questions in terms of men: Why do so many men rape women? Why do men rape men? What about all those boys who have been traumatized by male violence? It seems obvious when spoken out loud. We need more men who have the courage to stand up and start asking the right questions. The by-stander approach instead of seeing women as victims and men as perpetrators…see anyone who is not a victim or perpetrators…and ask…how do we not remain silent.

We have to find men–adult men with power–who are not abusive to stand up and interpret the behavior (violence against women). WATCH: http://www.ted.com/talks/jackson_katz_violence_against_women_it_s_a_men_s_issue?language=en

Caring deeply is not enough we need men with power to take a stand for Women’s human rights.

“…There is one universal truth, applicable to all countries, cultures and communities: violence against women is never acceptable, never excusable, never tolerable.”
UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon



et cetera